From Struggles With Culture Shock To Personal Growth
About eight years ago my husband and I moved to Toronto, Canada to pursue new adventures and immerse into a new culture (Recently our life took a new turn and we moved to California, more on this later). The whole idea of pursuing an expat life was born out of an immense desire to experience a completely new setting — a diverse and multicultural environment and pursue more opportunities in regards to career and personal growth. So we packed up our life into four suitcases, left our family and friends and flew to a far and distant land where we’ve never been before.
Since it was our very first moving experience surprises and mistakes were inevitable. As naive as it sounds to me now, it didn’t cross my mind to do proper emotional preparation for this big move and do research regarding any possible challenges. I planned things out in my head and was absolutely sure that things are going to go according to my plan. Looking back I realized that a lot of challenges and setbacks I took too close to my heart and let them overwhelm me and cause anxieties as I didn’t fully understand why certain things were happening or not working out the way I planned. It seems that I was totally caught off guard by experiencing a culture shock and loneliness and wasn’t sure how to deal with new kinds of feelings and difficulties.
Accepting the Culture Shock Effects
The challenges associated with the culture shock arise when the honeymoon period in the new country is phased out. It’s really weird as I think about it now that I had no idea how culture shock “feels” in the first place. Of course, I have heard the term before but never grasped its full meaning. I guess this is something you know about as a general term but fully comprehend only when you experience it yourself. So after experiencing confusion and anxiety, I dug deeper into understanding what the culture shock really is, its symptoms and how to overcome it. And here is the eye-opening revelation — It wasn’t unique to me alone to experience this excessive uncertainty, lack of confidence, anxiety, and feeling of loneliness. Through learning more about the effects of the culture shock I was able to understand and accept its stages and get better at interpreting my feelings. It also helped me not be too critical of myself which consequently helped me to regain control again. You see the issue by itself are not much the challenges you face but the inability to interpret your reaction and emotions which lead to frustration, anxiety, and loss of control. Luckily though, the knowledge and understanding of things help you regain control and let things flow naturally.
Benefits of Culture Shock
In retrospect, I realized that the culture shock is, in reality, a blessing in disguise if you have the desire and determination to grow and mature as a person. I started even appreciating all those months of struggle because they shaped me into who I am now and I’m forever grateful for it. I became stronger, gained self-confidence and became comfortable with myself. I learned to not take myself too serious, laugh at my mistakes and put extra effort to pursue my goals. I basically learned to take initiative in absolutely everything. Things back home to some extent were somehow sorting out by itself due to familiarity and the only way known, whereas in a new place you can’t really expect things to just workout. You need to take initiative and make things happen, starting from finding friends and looking for a job until it becomes a home and things flow naturally again.
The culture shock is, in reality, a blessing in disguise if you have the desire and determination to grow and mature as a person.
What I appreciate the most is that the culture shock helped me to broaden my horizon, be accepting and embracing the cultural differences, it mended my understanding that there is no only one “correct” way of doing things which is so liberating. The truth is if you don’t interact with other cultures you’re at risk of assuming your cultural values make up reality and therefore they are “the norm” and anything else is a deviation from it and this kind of thinking is not just unhealthy but mentally limiting.
You will only recognize the incorrect thinking you might have if you immerse yourself in a culture that runs on different values to those you’re familiar with. Consequently, you will come to the conclusion that one culture is not better than the other — there is no right or wrong, they are simply different. This sets you free from judgment or limiting yourself and gives you the courage to be the true self.
Going through all the challenges and uncertainties as a result of a change, as painful as it might feel at times it helps you to get to know yourself better, challenges you, makes you learn and grow. As George Santayana said:
“There is wisdom in turning as often as possible from the familiar to the unfamiliar: it keeps the mind nimble, it kills prejudice, and it fosters humor.”
With all the changes and uncertainties that my husband and I experienced as newcomers, we gained so much more insight and contentment and new unforgettable experiences and memories.
Having experienced the culture shock effects first hand I decided to share a few practical tips on how to handle it and overcome homesickness:
- Don’t isolate yourself from society and avoid the temptation to stick to your culture only. Stay in touch with your family and friends but also work on making new friends in your new home. Look for opportunities to experience new things, visit new places, meet people of different backgrounds. Don’t look for social circle out of your country only, widen out.
- Remember what you’re experiencing is natural and you’re not the only one who is facing such challenges. Don’t blame yourself, but be kind and patient with yourself. Take each day at a time and as time passes you’ll notice that it gets easier and after some time when everything around becomes familiar to you it could start feeling like home. Remember it takes time to build a friendship so be patient and don’t give up, you’ll have lots of friends soon enough.
- Improve your language skills. Couldn’t stress enough the importance of improving your language skills before and after moving to a new country. To communicate well and feel at ease at expressing your thoughts you need to constantly work on improving your knowledge of the local language. So if you’re moving to North America, then it’s English. In addition to your language classes, I recommend watching popular TV shows, as they’re not only entertaining but you’ll notice that people in general use the catchphrases from these shows quite often so you won’t be clueless of what’s being said. By watching movies or TV shows in English or in the language you’re trying to master you’ll notice that your listening skills which included comprehending different accents drastically improve as well as your vocabulary increase significantly.
Final Thought
Most importantly don’t get discouraged and don’t give up if it takes longer to adapt to a new culture. Don’t doubt yourself but continue hustling and adapting to a change and you will eventually reap the results of your efforts. Just remember it took courage and strength to leave your home, family, and friends to move to a whole new country, so don’t let any small setbacks throw you off the course.
Focus on growth and things will eventually work out.
