On a Diet of Warm Marketing Mush
I thought about how the marketing industry is fueled by a diet of warm, commoditized marketing mush. Especially B2B tech marketing. Software and services. Both corporate and product. And it made me think about the eventual conversation I’ll have the next time I run into my friend Johnny. Johnny’s the somewhat new CMO at a growing Chicago tech company.
Chicago HQ for a big time operation. Just ask ‘em.
This time I thought I saw him in line at a local deli and as he saw me trying to eat my lunch.
Tony! He called out.
Hey Johnny…
J: Exciting time of year, isn’t it?
T: Of course! All kinds of things happen in marketing between now and Thanksgiving.
J: You bet! Have you thought about going to our customer event?
T: Already been.
J: But we haven’t held it yet.
T: Two-day meeting, business hotel, downtown Chicago. And let me guess… a couple of steak dinners, maybe a touristy outing and a boring slate of cajoled and drafted case study speakers. Complete with a hot pot of coffee outside the meeting room.
J: Well, uh, yeah…I know we have no way of knowing if our speakers are any good, but the CEO insisted I put ‘em on the agenda.
T: Been there.
J: Well, maybe we can catch up on the show floor in Vegas next month!
T: Nope. Been there, too.
J: How’s that?
T: Let me guess, a booth someplace, somewhere on the show floor in the cavernous convention hall. Probably a 10 x 10, but maybe a 20 x 20. But the size doesn’t matter. You have cluttered signage, rotating PPT slides, garbage-bound collateral and 15 staff members standing around your booth with their luggage on the last day of the show waiting to go to the airport.
J: I’m working on that stuff.
T: Are you working on the ability of your people to deliver your company presentation, and your demo for that Vegas event?
J: No, not for the Vegas show.
T: Then why would I attend?
J: Well, have you at least checked out our new website? It’s very cool!
T: I did. But I can’t read the text descriptions you have for your products. You have some sort of 1998-like auto scroll that rotates your text before I can finish reading about any one product. Didn’t you read your website before publishing it? On all devices?
J: No.
T: Didn’t anybody tell you about that at marketing school?
J: No.
T: So tell me about your podcast…
J: We just published our first two podcasts. They’re great! Our CEO is the host and he’s awesome.
T: Who produces it?
J: Oh, we have a digital marketer who helps with that.
T: What happens when the CEO can’t do the podcast?
J: Well, we’ll have to wait.
T: What if he wins the lottery and moves to Tahiti?
J: I don’t know…
T: What’s the plan for when your digital marketer gets another job. Or goes on vacation. Or simply quits? Who will produce the podcast?
J: I’m not sure…
T: But you’re busy.
J: Oh, yeah. We’re so busy we’re hiring an events person, a demand gen person, a product marketer and a consultant to help with messaging and an ad agency to help with branding!
T: But you don’t have a reliable plan to produce a regular podcast.
J: So?
T: Your customer event looks, smells, feels, sounds and tastes like every other customer event held since the beginning of time.
J: And?
T: Your approach to events, trade shows, demos and speaking opportunities is lost in 1998 — where you’ll find your website.
J: But we have a great webinar coming up! In fact, it’s tomorrow. You should tune in!
T: So you have 25 people signed up for your webinar, but afraid only 10 will show, if that. So you need more warm bodies for the attendee spreadsheet.
J: How’d you know?
T: No doubt delivered by a Field VP, powered by your cutting-edge sales enablement program.
J: Now there we’re doing awesome work. You should see our sales enablement tech!
T: I’m sure it’s nice. But what happens when your sales people get that content?
J: Huh?
T: How do you enable your sales people to deliver that content?
J: But the technology… it’s sales enablement!
T: Yet you’re hiring all those people and spending all that money on jobs an agile marketing team of two or three should do. Why aren’t you doing a lot of that work, and making sure you get the basics down before wasting more marketing money?
J: But… we… I need the marketing help.
T: Yes, you clearly do.
Sit down and eat your lunch, Johnny. Your marketing mush is getting cold. Next time try something different, and unique, from the menu.
On second thought, never mind. Your VC is behind you at the deli counter ordering the same.
As long as they’re paying the bill, I guess it’s all you can eat marketing mush.
Tony Compton holds two degrees from Loyola University Chicago: a 1987 B.A. in Communication and a 1995 MBA. He has held a number of marketing and business leadership positions over the past three decades.
