The Benefits to Slow Down, Reconnect and Show Kindness to Others amid the Pandemic
The pandemics have affected our life drastically since the end of 2019. It challenged the way how we connect with other people. During my walk with the pandemic, I found myself most of the time trapped in the sense of loneliness. I want to rebuild truly meaningful connections with those around me regardless it’s physical or online interaction.
Research shows that the sense of loneliness could lead to several physical issues. I had found some helpful resources to help me continuously combat the sense of isolation and loneliness in a relatively practical way.
Start by Being “THAT” Kind Person First
Aren’t we always hoping that there’s someone who cares about us, or who can encourage us in the first place whenever we need it? Let’s be that person who initiates it first, being that rock that’s thrown into a pond and causes countless ripples of kindness.
Kindness needs to be initiated and would come back around. Studies on the psychology of kindness have a term for this, reciprocity. It means a positive action will be responded to another positive action, showing the returning of a favor. Someone might remember you had helped him out in the past and would be more likely to help you sometime now or in the future. Or it could be that one person being kind makes others in the group kinder, generating more kindness in the group which in return benefits the initiator even more.
It’s like one time I spontaneously brought some snacks to share with people on a study group/movie night, and somehow it took off, other people started to bring more snacks to share every time we met up. I only brought one bag of chips but now I can enjoy more varieties of snacks and dessert every single time. Isn’t it awesome?
It’s also like when I started to open up and to share my worries among a group of friends, no matter we were meeting offline in person or online, I can tell my gesture of opening up my heart encouraged people whom I was meeting with to start sharing their deeper self more. They know other people wouldn’t judge their feelings because we have confessed at that moment that we all have walked through the same.
When they started to share more, what I observed is not only that I started to experience their trust flowing towards me which made me proud of myself being as a trustworthy friend to these people, but also that we all started to show grace to each other with life-giving comfort and advice. I was being the first one to show my vulnerability, and this lifted people’s spirit, and eventually, I received more healings and encouragement than I could’ve ever expected.
All of these amazing things happened only after I started that very first step and as you may see, how great those rewards are. So I will surely continue to encourage myself and you to be that person to start being kind to others first. Then you may also feel being loved and connected with those around you. There are no “negative” side-effects out of being that person who shows kindness first.
Start Having Honest Conversations
For the one who isn’t sure why we shall share our feelings…
Are you feeling frustrated, burned out, or anxious? Having someone we trust to talk about these feelings and we’re willing to lay down our guard to talk about what we actually feel are both crucial. In the Bible, there’s a message we can learn from:
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12
It takes courage to be vulnerable and ask for others to be our companions when we’re going through the overwhelming feelings of loneliness, but it’s rewarding to do so, because when we’re together, we’re stronger, like a cord of three strands.
Also, you may hear of “a problem is shared is a problem cut in half”. When the burden is shared, it becomes lighter. There are always some people out there in our life. We can always give it a try and start from there.
For the one who isn’t sure why we shall listen and encourage others…
Words of affirmation are powerful. Our words can bring guidance and healing to those who are seeking our advice.
Regardless of how many words we say or how beautifully structured those words were, speaking the truth to another person’s life with authenticity and love as much as we can is powerful.
When our words are filled with grace, these words will empower a person to walk through the dark pit of negative emotions. Imagine that when a friend is telling us he won’t judge us and he understands what’s it like being down there, and assures us that we are not alone because he is willing to be there with us. Isn’t it the best rescue we could’ve ever needed amid an emotional storm?
I recommend this cute animation video here. The original speech was from Dr. Brené Brown. This video shows us how we can practice empathy towards each other, which involves perspective taking, staying out of judgments, recognizing the other person’s emotions, and communicating that with that person.
Being that person who is willing to listen and encourage takes our time and energy. But there are still some benefits to us.
Research shows that when we decide to show generosity to others activates an area in our brain called “the striatum”. This area also responds to things which we find rewarding such as nice food, etc. For me, this biological evidence sounds like my feel-good emotion from helping others works the same to my body as having a great caffe latte in the summer afternoon :) So I shall continue to invest my time in people, being there for them through their difficult times. This will not only help them but enhance my well-being throughout life as well.
Start Serving Other People, Together
Serving other people, in other words, putting other people’s needs in our hearts, can help us move our focus off from ourselves and take a break from our current issues. Sometimes we just need to release our stress a bit and then ideas of solutions will come our way. One of the best ways of doing this is to serve other people.
Serving others and being kind is likely to make those people smile, and when they smile, we can’t help but feel joyful too. Neuroscience research had shown that seeing someone else show an emotion automatically activates the same areas of our brain as if we’re experiencing those emotions for ourselves. It’s assuring that when we become available for people who need our help, joy and mood-changing feeling will certainly come along the way.
It’s always great to start somewhere, no matter it’s an act of kindness to our friends e.g. having a nice cup of coffee and good conversations, or to our family e.g. being a good companion on weekends afternoons, or giving some encouraging words to our colleagues. We may accidentally set off a chain of joy among people around us. That could be the coolest thing ever. Who knows :)
Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful day and Stay blessed :)
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