Has Anyone Ever Thrown Up During A Yoga Class?

It was about 6 years ago when I decided it was time to stop being curious about yoga and actually try a class. This decision wasn’t made easily. I was overweight, the rheumatoid arthritis (RA) was causing fatigue, joint pain, swelling and stiffness. My anxiety was through the roof. What if my joints fall apart? What if I get stuck? I knew the mind, body and spirit connection could have a big impact on me, a positive impact. I was craving peace, calm and balance more than anything.

I researched studios on line. Nothing really appealed to me. Whether you have an autoimmune disease or not, it’s intimidating to look at a potential studio and see pictures of people in poses like a headstand. It was a turn off for me. I had heard that a childhood friend was moving back to town and would be teaching locally. I knew her, I knew I would feel safe with her.

My first class was ok. It seemed impossible for me to calm my mind and pay attention. I was so worried I would ruin her class because all of the focus was going to have to go to me, stuck, looking like a pretzel or worse, having a joint fall apart. It was hard, my joints weren’t loving it, it was hot but my mat was cute and colorful. I didn’t push myself much. I played it safe. I stayed comfortable. A clear theme for me…. comfortable and safe. As I’ve said before, at this point in my life, it was all or nothing so if I survived this class it was time to advance. I was going to be flexible and balanced in NO TIME! So on to a more challenging class I went. I was in my cute comfy outfit, cute mat, headband and water bottle. I arrived early to get a spot in the back of the room along with everyone else. I was ready, I was pumped. We started and 20 minutes into it I was drenched in sweat, uncomfortable, frozen and freaked out. What pain was good, what pain was bad? I got so worked up in my head, I was confident I was going to puke. I was going to puke during her class, everyone was going to have a reaction, there would be sympathy pukers!!!!! I do NOT have a poker face, she could see my anxiety written all over and asked if I was ok, I said “I’ll be fine”. I grabbed my mat, water bottle and ran out of there, dragging my mat behind me. I am sure I hit a few people with sweat and the mat. I sat on the bathroom floor at that studio, mortified, embarrassed and not puking. I thought that was it. There is no way I can come back here. I can’t do this. I was done. It was all or nothing.