A Realism Life: Christelle Bilodeau
I am sitting at my desk in my art studio, pondering, how on earth am I supposed to write a piece about myself, my art, my work — in a language that I cannot entirely master?
Then it came to me, even in my mother tongue I have always had a difficult time talking about myself. I’m used to keeping my thoughts within, like a true introvert.
Throughout my childhood, I was pushed to give the absolute best of myself in every aspect. In school, I had to be the best in every subject. Except sports, never could, never cared. This shaped me as a person. I truly believe that this reflects in my art, in every single detail and precise line.
At nine years old, I was dying to take painting lessons. I would draw horses every chance that I could, but I wanted to learn more.
In a mall, not far from where I lived, I remember meeting who would become my painting teacher. He said to me that he did not take students younger than ten years old. I begged and told him that I was mature and serious enough. He did not budge. Finally, on my tenth birthday my parents informed me that he had finally accepted me as a student and that they would pay for my lessons. Those weekly lessons taught me all the basics, like technique, mixing colors and brush choice. I was so proud, I was as good if not better than other students three times my age.
From that moment on, I cannot recall a time that I wasn’t painting or drawing. I certainly didn’t draw every day back then but it was a major part of my life. I applied the same effort and discipline to my art as I did to my schoolwork.
In high school, my interest in painting people heightened. I was fascinated by music and cinema, in consequent I found myself interested in drawing my favorite people from those fields. I noticed that the people around me genuinely liked my work and I received encouragement from friends and family. This motivated me to continue improving my technique over the years that followed.
A turning point in my life was when I met Paul McCartney back in 2011. He had invited me up on stage to sign a pencil portrait that I had made of him. The day that I had this opportunity, I realized I could accomplish much more than I thought. Other similar opportunities occurred throughout the years with Susan Sarandon, Xavier Dolan, and The Raveonettes, just to name a few.
Four years ago, when I bought the house I am currently living in with my long-time boyfriend, I began to take my work more seriously. In our last apartment, we used to share the same studio, which was a very tiny room. It goes without saying that I had a hard time concentrating on my work with another person in the room, especially when the other is a musician. Now, I have my very own studio, a safe place for creation. This completely changed my way of working. I no longer struggle to focus on my work. My drawing table, computer and TV are ready for me at any given time, day or night.
I deeply feel that every time I work on something, it must be perfectly executed. I now spend countless hours on each portrait. I want every single detail to be perfect and I want my clients to be entirely satisfied. I must be realistic though — I must stop eventually. Hard work always pays off, in the end nothing can beat the feeling of satisfaction when publishing the final piece or showing it to the client.
One thing that I find deeply troubling and difficult to deal with is the fact that I cannot be in my studio twenty-four hours, seven days a week. Obviously, I cannot do this because it isn’t healthy for someone to spend that much time alone in a room, and, I must have a full-time job, as I can’t live off my art yet. I must have a full-time job to pay for the house in which I draw. I am far from having the luxury of living a glamourous artist lifestyle. I must deal with the impression of wasting precious time daily. Precious time that I could be using to work on a commission, to work on a personal project, or simply to improve my work. I constantly find myself in a situation where I must learn to manage that feeling, for my very own well being.
I recently watched an interview with painter Jemima Kirke in which she said something that really resonated with my situation as well as my relationship with art, “Who are you, that you are so special and great that you don’t have to make shitty work and practice, and make things that no one cares about and have to throw them out?”
I decided that my new philosophy will be to unwind, to keep drawing as much as I can, but above all to stop putting this pressure on myself. This is just the beginning of my artistic journey and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for me.
Check out more of Christelle’s work at: www.christellebilodeau.com
Written by Christelle Bilodeau
Copyedit and development by Karlee Kapler
