Everybody Loves Jen
Words by Jennifer Bartels
The amount of someone else’s hair currently clipped into my head would impress anyone. I’m downing an overpriced yet delicious almond milk latte, because I will never shake some of my “basic-ness” as I stare out from this fancy NY hotel. A cute and stylish makeup artist named Jessi politely shapes my face with contours that give birth to cheekbones, while David, a brilliant hairstylist I just met adds even more hair since the beginning of this article. We have a tight window to get some fashion shots of me “looking hip, cool, but fun” in my hotel room. I start sweating, because this is wonderful and stressful all at once. And not cute sweat, but like, inappropriate sweat that forces me to blot my body at times.
You see, I have always wanted this. Ever since I lived in a small one bedroom Staten Island apartment, ever since Millbrook high school theater saved me from the horrific bullies of the bus stop, and ever since I realized my one true love wasn’t a person, but a thing. Performing is my thing.
We are now ready to shoot. A chic and youthful woman, much cooler than me, sits on my bed. Her skinny jeans fit her like skinny jeans should, and she is my photographer. Her name is Jessi and she just got back from Cuba. In my head, I am jealous, because I have always wanted to travel more, but tend to stick to the comforts of road trips. She suggests we start with me glammed in a messed up bed for the rock n roll sexy vibe. I am in love. I always wanted to grace a magazine with a tortured Blondie appeal, even though in reality there is a large chance I may look tired, sad and hungry.
No time to waste, I stuff the anxiety away and own it. The thing with photoshoots is that they will get a good one, because they take a million. That seems comforting right now. I blast some new Cardi B. and start to crawl around the bed like a tranquilized tiger trying to catch his bearings. Everything is going well until my other playlist starts, which is filled with the saddest music you ever heard. I love sad music, but in this moment, it looks like I have asked everyone here to save me. I change the music back to classic 80’s and move on.
We move from room to bathroom, and I suggest we open wine, because wine. As the music plays and shots snap, I tromp around in the most beautiful dresses. This is my Saturday. I have to remember to stay present in this. My mind loves to sabotage good things. I won’t let it today. I am in New York City, with some of the most creative people, promoting a female driven TV show that I am in called American Woman. I stuff every single “what if” away and the wine and good company help. I would question how I got here, but I know. I kept going. I kept going when I got replaced on comedy teams, I kept going when I tested and she got it, I kept going when he broke my heart, I just kept going. Is that what insanity is? Or is that true love? It doesn’t matter the answer, because after this shoot, and after this wine, I am just going to keep going.
Jennifer Bartels is an actress and producer best known for her roles in Broken and Friends of the People. You can watch Jennifer in the upcoming series American Woman which premiers on the Paramount Network on June 7th.
Photography: Jess Richards - @jessie.richi
Make-Up: Jessi Butterfield - @jessibutterfield
Hair: David Tibolla - @davidtibolla
Styling: Jordan Grossman - @jordan_grossman
