Living the New Normal
“It was always fun going to school in the school bus. Waving at you when you stood at the bus stop, sitting next to the driver’s seat and seeing the road through the huge front glass. My best friend would always sit next to me. After class, I would be the first one to board the bus. I wish I could go back to school soon.”
Ever since lockdown started, this has been my brother’s constant refrain. He really misses school and friends. The last time he cried was because he didn’t want to go to school. Every day he would fall onto my grandmother’s lap, crying hysterically, begging to let him take the day off. He has lots of friends next to our house and he is the youngest in our family. However hard we try, no one was able to match his energy or entertain him for long. Everyone in the family took turns playing with him.
My little brother has become a very understanding and responsible child in this short time. He channels all his energy to help us out when we need something. My grandma runs a stationery store in front of our house. My brother has begun to identify every wholesaler’s arrival by the sound of their vehicle’s horn or the screech of the tires. It’s actually fascinating to see him pick up these voices and alert my grandma.
Parenting is hard. Parenting during a pandemic is even harder. Teaching my brother was the biggest of all our responsibilities. As the eldest sister, I was given the responsibility of teaching him. I knew I would be the worst primary school teacher even before I agreed to help him with his studies. Every day turned out to be another disastrous experiment.
Once, he couldn’t understand the question I was explaining. He was completely drained of energy. I was calling him stupid over and over again. He was not a bright student, but he wasn’t bad either. I remember crying harder than my little brother as I felt guilty. I was so angry with him that he almost gave up, and that broke me.
Finally, everyone decided that I shouldn’t be teaching him. I agreed and it actually did both of us good. Now I bite my tongue before I insult him and try to control my temper.
“I can’t do this anymore. We need to get out sometimes. I think it’s high time we went for a ride. Let's take the scooter and go somewhere. I need some air.”
I stared at her, unable to believe what she was saying. Was this really my mom speaking? My sister was super excited too. The pandemic had really changed us. My mom is a LIC agent. As my father is not well, she is mostly outdoors with her scooter for work. She is the one who goes to pick up supplies for our stationery store. Even my introverted sister didn't want to stay at home this time.
I have always been an extrovert, choosing to go out with friends over sitting inside the house. The pandemic came as a shock wave to me. But I adapted very fast and pretty soon I became confined to my room, not even getting up from my bed.
I still remember the day the college closed due to Covid. Most of us were sure it would not last more than a few weeks. Covid was nothing compared to Nipah, or so we thought. We welcomed the lockdown like it was a much-needed vacation and returned home in the hope to see each other soon. But it became the new normal. We have seen animals hibernating through wildfires and seeds springing to life after a long wait in those airtight jars. This pandemic was our time to lie low.
“Can’t you just keep your phone away for a little while?”
There wasn’t a day I didn’t hear someone tell me this. Well, until all of my family was forced to have a phone. My aunt couldn’t check in to work without a smartphone and even my grandma couldn’t attend her meetings with the self-help groups she was an active part of.
I used to brag about my minimal social media presence. But, oh boy, was I wrong! I don’t use many apps, but the very few that I do use, I'm addicted to completely. I found out that every week I actually dedicated a whole day to YouTube. That was really scary. Realising this, I tweaked my settings to warn me of overuse and finally began walking without my phones whenever possible. It wasn't easy but I became aware of how much technology was influencing me.
To begin with, I checked the time I spent on my phone. These little handheld accessories actually know too much about us. We can scroll down these digital pages and observe a lot about human society. The most obvious one is the mob mentality of people on the internet. Every word etched in ones and zeros are mines of information about us.
Being a joint family, we had to work constantly to make both ends meet. I don’t recall spending so much time with my family anytime before the pandemic. I realized how most of my childhood was spent in school and most of my parents’ adulthood was spent at work. During the days of quarantine, we played ludo and tried out some new recipes together. We watched TV and spent a lot of family time discussing, debating, arguing and reconciling back together. We were confused and stressed. But still, we all made it. Somehow, even while the world as we know it was crumbling around us, we rediscovered each other.
All these highlighted a lot of problems in the Indian household. Everyone ate whenever they pleased and kitchen chores became unending, always falling on the women’s shoulders.
“Can’t all of you eat your meal at the right time? Each one of you comes down every hour demanding food, and I am stuck in the kitchen all day.”
There was some division of labour, and men were also contributing to family chores. But those contributions were counted as “benevolence” rather than “duty” by society. Even when the lockdown restrictions were lifted, it was the same old tale.
“They say it’s part-time. But your aunt is forced to do extra time, and most of the days doesn’t even get a break to have lunch. They know she has heart disease. But we are all dispensable.”
When I got to know about my aunt’s situation, I realised how people with low-income jobs were treated very poorly by their employers and society. Their working time gets stretched without any prior notice. They end up doing the work because of their dire need for money. Their feelings and health were very often overlooked. But the lockdown actually brought our family closer than before.
The bigger picture was even worse. Everything wasn’t going well with a lot of people. Frustrated by the restrictions, the pandemic became hell for kids with toxic parents, people dealing with addiction and the ones with abusive partners or family members. Domestic abuse cases rose drastically. It reminded us about how we still have a long way to go.
Even though the pandemic wasn’t nice to us in any way, it gave us a chance to pause and rethink. We, humans, adapt so quickly. We were quick in finding alternatives amidst the pandemic. We learned to learn, socialize and work in ways we never thought we could. A lot of people started asking for help. Many learned new skills. We found new methods to monetize our talents and hobbies. Old and forgotten dreams were rekindled and fulfilled.
And every day I wake up with the belief that even when things are going wrong, it will all work out in the end.
We thought this would be a great place to talk about Fortitude, a mental health initiative by the students of Model Engineering College. Fortitude aims to build a dependable on-campus student network to provide information and help regarding mental health issues. MECians can now also avail counseling sessions from Ms. Anju Lekshmi S, a Psychological Consultant and Social Worker designated by the college.
To sign up for the same, please fill the form in the link attached. If you wish to know more details, feel free to shoot us an e-mail at reachtheofficialfortitude@gmail.com or DM us on Instagram @theofficialfortitude.
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