Pondering Procrastination: Should I, or Should I not? NOT!
When my editor Ema Arun asked me to write an article on procrastination, I swear to you, I flipped.
“You serious?” I asked incredulously.
“You’re the biggest procrastinator I know, who else would I go to?!”
“Fair enough, but you see the irony, don’t you? I’ll just procrastinate and procrastinate until-”
“Don’t worry, I’ll give you no room for procrastinating. I need it by the end of this week.”
“Sure.”
And, DUH, I didn’t do it.
However, only later did I realise that my ever thoughtful Athena-spawn editor had given me a fake deadline which was almost two weeks early. She is nothing if not wise.
And so here I am looking straight into the face of the deadliest deadline I’ve ever had, racking my brain for inspiration. Alas, my brain is hardwired to not think during these times. Don’t you start blaming me for this reckless behaviour, though. Blame The Great Urban League of Procrastinators, or The GULP if you will, of which I am an honoured member. They train you from a young age to-
Oops! Almost spilt our deep dark secrets. This is an elite club, people, you can’t just barge in and pry out the secretive training tactics!
Yeah, so where was I? Oh yes, the article. Right….
Wow I really have no idea where to go with this. But never fear! If my six semesters of Engineering has taught me anything at all, it’s bluffing. And The First Law of Bluffing states that “When in doubt, start with the definition.”
<straight off to Google we go>
Oh, come on! I find it extremely outrageous that the example they’ve given to illustrate the usage of procrastination is definitively against procrastination! Google is shameless.
This will not do! I need to uphold the sanctity of my people! Time to take things into my own hands…
You see, the minds of us procrastinators are a tiny bit different than you orderly folk. We are, in our own unique and beautiful sense…. totally ADHD. Let me explain; there are some things that you constantly push for later, right? Exercising, doing the dishes, that kind of stuff? Well, the minute we procrastinators see something that we absolutely HAVE to do, like I don’t know…. STUDY-FOR-THE-TEST-YOU’VE-GOT-NEXT-WEEK-FOR-GOD’S-SAKE-MAN-GET-IT-TOGETHER-AND-AT-LEAST-MAKE-AN-EFFORT, we tend to completely lose track and engage in another- any other- activity, like, I don’t know, exercising, doing the dishes, writing a completely pointless article about your own sorry life or reading a completely pointless article about some girl’s sorry life.
Yeah. That’s right. I see you, reader.
The thing is, our brain constantly seeks entertainment. Any undertaking that does not provide entertainment must obviously be avoided. And so, your astounding brain suddenly remembers the hymn book you’d been meaning to learn (by-heart, of course, bless you, CBSE) six and a half months ago.
Sigh.
It’s absurd. It’s crazy. But strangely, we seem to be able to get things done.
Most of the time.
Being a procrastinator is admittedly not exactly cool. I’ve stayed up way too many nights trying to mug up portions than any normal teenager should…. I mean, seriously it ought to have driven me crazy years ago!
(…wait a minute. Oh Gods of Indian folklore, this explains so much…)
Sadly the fact remains that this method doesn’t always work. Procrastinators work well with deadlines. Sometimes though, you get tasks that don’t need deadlines. Calling a friend. Hugging your parents. Planting the seeds you bought for the garden. Cleaning the fish tank, great GOD it’s a mess right now…. And these stuff just tend to get put off for later and later, until… it might be too late.
So, dear reader, I implore you- be aware. Be aware that although it might seem like you’ve got forever to do the things you’ve been meaning to do, you don’t. The clock ticks constantly. You might think there is no deadline, when in fact, you do: The Final One. The only difference this One has from other regular deadlines is that… you don’t know when this one will arrive. You have no idea where or when it can spring at you. And if we need to be ready by that time, we need to have done everything that really matters most…
WHOA.
That was a little dark.
I may have to rescind my membership from The GULP. They’ll never approve of philosophical musings about the deeper meanings of life and death.
Ugh. Since evidently you’ve got nothing better to do, how about you watch this fantastic TED Talk, huh?
Guys. I know it’s hard. I’ve been there. In fact, I AM there. But just suppress whatever force is distracting you, and DO it. It’ll be worth it I promise. Go. You’ll be fine.
…
Go on.
…
I mean it.
…
No, not after a YouTube video, NOW!
…
No, you can’t have a snack first. You just ate!
…
OH COME ON! GO ALREADY!!!
…
Interesting, huh? Read our ‘Thought Trains’ section for more such intriguing and wondrous articles! Oh.. And don’t forget to keep a track of time.
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