The Book of Longings — Sue Monk Kidd
“Did Jesus have a wife?”
One of the most controversial questions that created waves of conflicts among people since the release of The Da Vinci Code. The author Sue Monk Kidd was as thoughtful as any person when the idea of such a woman came to her, but the outpour of a purely fictional character ruled out the entire possibility of any scandal and her story was indeed a great mark in the literary world.
The outbreak of the pandemic affected me the same way as it did for millions of students across the globe. The reasons for melancholy included missing college life, friends, hostel room, junk food, even real sunlight, and every moment of togetherness but above all what affected me the most was the uncertainty- Will all this ever be over?
When my whole world seemed to come to a halt, a new one emerged, confined to the four walls of my room; books came out to rescue my disobedient wanderlust mind.
Recently I came across the book named “The Book of Longings” and I started reading it without even glancing through the summary. What could be worse anyway?
“Let him who is without sin shall cast the stone first” Those were the words that made me realise that the hero depicted in the story is none other than Jesus Christ. I felt ashamed because I failed to realise this after 130 pages. This itself shows the impact and intelligence of the protagonist presented by the writer.
The protagonist is Ana, the daughter of a rich palace scribe whose ardent wish is to read and write. What is peculiar is that during the time of Ana’s life, reading and writing were the sweet fruits enjoyed only by men. Women were considered nothing but mere machines to look after the household and raise children. In that time of suppression, Ana loved papyrus and ink with all her heart. She poured herself in everything she got, including pot pieces when she ran out of papyrus. Words never ceased their way for Ana, just because she couldn’t write.
The life of Ana is written in four different phases as when she lived in different places and with different people. Among them, her only constant companion was her aunt Yaltha, who was a widow and Ana was living with her ever since her husband’s death. She gave Ana an incantation bowl, and that is the most beautiful thing in the entire story. The bowl can be written with any prayer and that prayer would be granted. This was the first prayer written by Ana:
Lord our God, hear my prayer,
the prayer of my heart.
Bless the largeness inside me,
no matter how I fear it.
Bless my reed pens and my inks.
Bless the words I write.
May they be beautiful in your sight.
May they be visible to eyes not yet born.
When I am dust,
sing these words over my bones:
she was a voice.
She wished to be remembered. But, if there is any person in this world who has the most painful story of being embraced by oblivion, it is no one but her.
Also, Ana’s life was mysterious and concealed with harsh realities. She fell in love with Jesus but unfortunately got forced by her parents to marry a man much older than her and his death made her a widow. Widows, rape victims, and women without children were subjects of least value in the society and were marked as cursed. But her husband’s death flowered Ana with the greatest blessing of her life, to get married to Jesus, which otherwise would never be agreed by her parents due to his low economic status.
Ana was never prepared to be a mother and she delayed pregnancy after her marriage. Years later, she got pregnant and the child was stillborn. She named her Sarah and her death made her fall into a severe depression. Pen and ink then came to her rescue through pieces of writings about her dead daughter. The picture of the agony of life that couldn’t touch her or love her, but still created a void in Ana’s heart, is beautifully illustrated by the author.
She had to live away from Jesus due to threats from the royal palace. Her life away from him was harder and this part of the book emblazes the real pain of separation. They lived apart for years. She once says that she might even forget his face…. forget the face of her perfect half soul. During that time, Jesus led many revolutionary movements along with Judas, who is portrayed as Ana’s brother. At the other end, Ana wrote books and bound them together, so that she would be remembered.
I have seen, read, and heard about the crucifixion of Christ many times throughout my life. But, the first time I ever cried visualising that scene was with the perspective of Ana. I believe I could empathise more with a person who is losing the most precious soul in her life, than a person who is experiencing the pain of death and betrayal.
The last sentence that Ana says is about her wish to stay alive in the world even after her death, that is to unanimously say: “she was a voice”, and let her voice never be cast by the shadow of oblivion. Maybe all of our dreams ultimately may hit the same wall of recognising our voice by the world…..
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