My brother once told me that I should never become a feminist.
As I looked up to him because of his seven years on me, and his impressive character, my hesitance on deciding quickly dissolved into blind acceptance.
However, I came to realize just how much he was wrong to ask me to reject feminism — something ultimately, so important. Feminism is the acceptance of a woman’s choices, and a request for equality. Feminism is not asking for women to become men. It is not asking to oppress men and raise women above them. I cannot stress enough that feminism is purely the fight of all women to be viewed, defined, treated and established in politics and society as equals to men. How much misogyny had I internalized to realize this only now? The blame settles in some uncomfortable places; as it should.
There’s something to be said about the double standards the media sets for women around the world. In the broadest sense, women and girls alike are heavily objectified — we tune in and find that we’re better represented by a Kate Spade handbag than the veritable accessories that girls and women are scripted to act as. Bringing “motherly” and emotional backbone to the male or the story? That’s too typical for you? You only stand the “strong female characters” like the Fullmetal Bitch from Edge of Tomorrow who gives a good name to women in media? Bullshit. However, that isn't to say that people of today should not change their attitudes simply because the male patriarchy that has dominated the past. The past is the past: it is time to make a change. Time for us to heart Sansa Stark just as much as we do one of J. Law’s scripts.
Many female celebrities have commented this before, asking questions like, “Why does [insert male co-star name here] get all the interesting questions while you ask me about my diet?” and “(during red carpet interviews in which the camera ‘eyes’ the celebrity) Do you do this with the guys as well?” It’s a good thing that popular icons are noticing the unjustness in their treatment and are making a statement. If not, the fight against double standards may never even be realized, never mind ceased.
This is not only apparent in Western media. In the South Korean K-pop industry, male idols are asked questions about their life, and their struggles in their path to success, while the females are asked about their struggles in maintaining their pristine figures.
If you think Beyoncé represents enough women in her powerful, sensual performances and messages of female empowerment, you’ve clearly underestimated.
Societal expectations and conformation are consistently a huge topic of discussion, with high potential for double standards. People adopt the idea of detachment from societal standards and to simply ‘be yourself’. However, every time a woman tries to “be herself” stereotypes and expectations crush her burgeoning dreams and aspirations. A woman’s driving to work? She probably doesn't know what brakes are. She wears skirts, makeup and jewelry? Yeah, that’s cuz she’s a hoe. As a result, women are forced to adhere to societal expectations: and this means house/trophy wife—but it’s not like that doesn't come without stigma either.
If something is too outrageous—too obscure and foreign, the person is immediately rejected from general society, even from those who promote the idea of individualism. Though this may be true for all people, it is highlighted in the case of women in particular. Tabloids and celebrity news portals focus primarily on the appearance and fashion of female celebrities in complete disregard towards their personal privacy. Why? Because everything else about her is unimportant, her personality, thoughts, fears, dreams, hopes, and goals are all controversial, one way or another — whether she’s proud of herself, or not, she’ll always be the butt of every tabloid scandal. Whether she has accepted her identity or not — she’ll always be followed with a bitter TMZ journalist, or a judgmental peer, or a conservative minded relative that will condemn her for simply existing.
