Learning to Read All Over Again
When my eldest child was born, I didn’t know that I should read to him from birth. When I eventually did start reading to him, I would just plow through the books with the intent of getting through them. Many times story time came right before bedtime, and I myself was falling asleep.
More than a few times I’ve been poked by my now-older kids as they say “wake up Daddy!” As someone who has now spent a lot of time both researching child development and raising three kids under the age of eight, I’ve observed a lot of unhelpful behavior in myself that I’m working to improve. Here’s a list of my top mistakes and why researchers say we should change our behavior:
1: Speed reading. Reading is an adventure, not a race. I know that the quantity of words I say to my children are important, but the quality of those words matters at least as much. I’ve seen parents reading who didn’t even stop for periods and commas — the whole book was one run-on sentence. As an adult, I couldn’t even keep up with the stories they were telling. How was a two-year-old supposed to follow along?
2: A monotonous voice. It’s incredibly difficult to pay attention to someone when they don’t have any vocal inflection. I’ve found that my kids pay more attention when I vary my tone and emotion.
3: Reading without interacting. Luckily, my sister is a speech therapist, so she was able to point me in the right direction. She first recommended that I use my finger to follow the words on the page as I read them. This helps kids realize that reading goes from left to right, and it helps with word association. Later, we had a friend visit who would ask questions and point at pictures when he read to our kids. Afterwards, my son only wanted to read with the guest since it was a more entertaining and engaging experience. Now, when I read books to my kids I focus on involving all sorts of similar interactions. And this isn’t some trick that our guest made up — researchers agree that it’s good for brain development as well.
4: Reading while distracted. I have no idea how people can read a book while the TV is on, a toy is making noise, or the child is distracted by something else. In our house, we like it to be quiet and relaxed when reading, which is usually why we read just after a bath and then before bed. Unfortunately, surveys show that many American families constantly have the TV on in the background. Or the child is playing with a toy or watching other children play while the parents read a book. Researchers recommend a quiet area free of distractions for reading books. Further, the child should be looking at the book to associate the words with text and images.
5: Just not reading at all. Life is busy. When I get home from work, it can be hard to work up the energy to read, especially with having multiple kids to read to. But sadly, many children aren’t read to at all, and others are only read to infrequently. My goal with my children is to have them love books. We keep our house full of books, the kids see my wife and I reading our own books, and we try our best to read books to our kids every day. We’re at the point where it could be two hours past their bedtime and they still won’t go to bed without a story.
Bonus tip for the reluctant child: When my daughters would rather play than read, I simply sit and start reading the book. Then I express amazement at something in the book. Eventually, the girls will get interested and want to see what I’m looking at. When they come over I’ll say, “Well, I guess I could let you see it but you’ll have to sit here and help me read the book. Can you do that?”
This piece was originally posted at VersaMe.com. VersaMe created the Starling the world’s first wearable engagement tracker that helps encourage and reinforce positive parenting behaviors.
