What do I do with a baby?

Tony was born to two loving parents who both worked. Mom and Dad had no idea what they were doing when they got home from the hospital, but they talked to Tony throughout the day. They sang him songs and told him stories about their day. They talked to him during diaper changes and baths. They started to read Tony bedtime stories shortly after they got home from the hospital even though they thought he had no idea what they were saying because he was just a little infant who couldn’t talk back.

Maria was born to two loving parents who both worked. Mom and Dad had no idea what they were doing when they got home from the hospital, but they assumed that they didn’t need to talk to her since she couldn’t talk back. They loved Maria and took good care of her. They fed her, changed her diapers, and took her on walks.

Mom and Dad talked to each other, but neither said much to Maria because she mostly just sat there staring back at them when they spoke. Mom and Dad had been told that bedtime stories are important, but they assumed that was something they could put off until later when Maria was able to actually understand what they were saying.

If you are a parent, there’s a good chance you’ve done some of the same things as Tony’s and Maria’s parents. After all, babies don’t come with instruction manuals, so parents are often left to figure things out on our own. In the two fictional scenarios above, both parents may live in the same neighborhood or work in the same company. They could even be related to one another. While there is much in common between the two families, the outcomes for their children will likely be vastly different.

Tony, having had more words spoken to him at an early age, will likely begin to speak sooner. By the time both children turn two, Tony will have a far bigger vocabulary than Maria. In addition to being easier to communicate with, he will likely pick up skills like reading, writing, and math ahead of Maria. By the time Tony and Maria show up to kindergarten the differences between the two will be pronounced.

Tony’s head start will be apparent, and he will continue to pick up new skills at a faster pace than Maria. He’ll be more confident and enjoy going to school. Maria, on the other hand, will feel lost. She won’t understand what’s going on much of the time. In the next year or two, Maria will learn that she’s not good at math, and she’s just not that good at school overall.

As Tony and Maria continue on their path through the formal education system, their trajectories will have already been set. Fast forward a few years, and Tony is more likely to go to college. When he enters college, he’s far more likely to graduate because he’ll feel like he belongs there. Maria, on the other hand, will likely spend her childhood feeling that school just isn’t quite right for her. After enduring high school, she may or may not go on to college, but if she does she’s far more likely to drop out.

Tony and Maria are just fictional characters, but millions of people can identify with their stories. In both cases, they were raised in loving households with two busy parents who had no idea what they were doing. However, the little things that Tony’s parents did differently (i.e. talking more) set him off on a fundamentally different path in life than Maria.

Language is fundamental to almost all other learning that children do throughout their lives. From the day they are born their brains are listening to everything adults say to them, and the number of words spoken directly to a child (note: TV does not count) strongly predict that child’s success later in life. So if you have kids, or you know someone with kids, make sure to tell them how important their daily word count is. It could make all of the difference.

This piece was originally posted at VersaMe.com. VersaMe created the Starling the world’s first wearable engagement tracker that helps encourage and reinforce positive parenting behaviors.