The Unseen Cornerstone of a Child’s World
The obscure strength that shapes every moment.
A genuine request to all parents reading this; please express your affection to your children. Don’t just think that providing for them, caring for them, filling out all of their necessities automatically interprets to love. It’s a child and you’re the most important piece of their life. What they learn from you will have a huge impact on them.
This is coming from a person who grew up in a household where showing affection was taboo. Something awkward we must avoid. My mother never said the words, “I care for you and I love you” out loud rather her actions spoke for her. She always made sure that I was well-fed, well-clothed, and well-educated. The small things she did for me like cooking me a special kind of Paratha (flatbread) when we had a fight. Preparing something sweet for me every now and then as she’s well aware of my sweet tooth. Being overly attuned to me when I was sick and a thousand other things I can’t list here.
My father, on the other hand, I don’t even expect affection from him. He always made sure that I studied in the best school in town. Made sure that I entered a good college. Made sure that all my requirements were fulfilled all the time.
I can say my home literally mirrored the notion:
a place where all bad things are done with only good intentions.
I’m grateful to my parents for all of this, grateful to the point that I’d do anything for them. Go to extreme levels to make sure they are always living a life of comfort and luxury. Despite all this, I still mourn for that one part of me that’s broken. That’s gone beyond salvation. I do not blame my parents for it- I can never, but I mentioned it here as it made a contribution in shaping who I am today.
While the reigns of my life are in my hands yet somethings are hard to overcome. Like my inability to show affection. I can not express love. Hugs suffocate me, affectionate eye contact makes me awkward to the point of digging a hole for myself and lying in it. Even when I’m walking together with my friend and she puts a hand on my back casually, I shoot away. She once commented, “Why are you so stiff?” and she had just entwined her arm with mine like most girls do.
So, a staunch request to all the people with normal families that aren’t afraid to show affection, duly note that it’s a significant part of your children's lives to show them that you love them and that you care for them. Verbalize your love for them. Do not shy away from telling how much they mean to you. It plays a pivotal role in shaping the personality they’ll live by once they grow up.
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