10 Ways the world would be different if an 18-month old called the shots.

As you may know I have an 18-month old son. Today as I bathed him a thought entered my consciousness. This thought occurred while protecting myself from his viscous splashing with one hand, and returning hurled objects with the other. 'Why is it that kids are wired to destroy and not to say...put things away?' A tangent was quickly formed and I began to think about how backwards the world must be to them at this age. So what if the world was built for them? What would it look like? Well imagine with me for a moment if an 18-month old got to call the shots.

Here are 10 things I think would change

1. All toys would have a component installed much like you find on the back of an arrow or a Nerf Vortex football. This would help to increase distance as the arm muscles are not fully developed yet.

2. All shelves, drawers, and cabinets would be disassembled and uninstalled.

3. Birds and Planes would bare unique, and easily identifiable marks.

4. There would only be three buttons on any TV remote control, one for each: QVC, the Spanish channel, and PBS.

5. Highchairs, as we know them, would cease to exist and be replaced with a tool-belt-type device draping pockets for spaghetti, Baby Goldfish, and Puffs.

6. We would need to figure out a way to allow for dogs and kids to eat the same food.

7. Most words in the english language would be removed and replaced with 'dis', a monkey sound. or GAAAA.

8. There would only be one job/vocation/profession and it would consist of putting things in, and subsequently taking them out of, any container that would hold said things. A person's pay would be directly related to the number of times the particular object was transferred to and from each location.

9. Dogs would be trained to be ridden.

10. All furniture would come with Cheerios pre-installed between the cushions so precious time wouldn't be wasted placing them there.

There are too many changes to list here, but you might take note that the following objects would likely be removed or decline in utility: QTips, Baby Bjorn (embarrassing for everyone), food that is orange, shirts, pants, hats, sunglasses, door knobs, locks, straws, pics for guitars, pages of books, side walk chalk (just use the real thing), paper, tissues, wash clothes, those dang screws that get in the way of quickly changing batteries, stairs, hills, tile floor, laundry baskets, laundry, etc. etc.