Children Have Stress Too!

Image by Caleb Woods from Unsplash

Given the collective challenges we are currently facing, it’s no wonder our children are stressed. Children can experience stress as much as adults do. However, stress in children can look a bit different than ours.

Stress in children

David Elkin, in his book, The Hurried Child, defines stress as, “the wear and tear on our bodies that is produced by the very process of living”. Although stress produced by living is inevitable, some situations can contribute to chronic stress. Serious implications in children’s emotional, physical, academic well-being can arise if stress is persistent and unattended.

Stress contributors in children’s lives:

· Hurry — getting ready to go from one place to another

· Expectations — from parents for their children to do well and grow up quickly

· Family upheavals — due to big changes such as death or divorce

· Health problems — in the child or a family member

· Tension — among the parents

· Overscheduling — too busy with extracurricular activities and school demands

· Separation — from parents or loved ones

Stress Symptoms in Children

Signs that indicate that a child might be experiencing stress can include but are not limited to the following:

· Recurring headaches, tummy aches, or neck pain.

· Increased irritability, sadness, panic and even anger

· Being more quiet than usual

· Trouble sleeping

· Lethargy, daydreaming, withdrawing emotionally

· Excessive energy or restlessness

· Reverting to previous developmental stages

· Nervous habits such as nail biting, hair twisting, thumb sucking

· Trouble getting along with others

Helping Children Manage Their Stress

As parents and caregivers, we are unable to entirely diminish the stress our children experience, however, we are able to support them as they cope with stress. Extra patience, love and reassurance can work wonders in helping our children deal with stress. They might respond to the following:

·Physical contact — hugging helps children relax. You can offer a hug and allow them to decide if they would like that.

· Listening — ask children how they feel. Stay curious and reflect back what you hear them say. The power of being heard and seen can create connection, which, in turn, can help lower their stress.

· Encouragement — help children find something they are good at and tell them how proud you are of them.

· Honesty and Openness — Talk and encourage children to express their feelings openly without pressuring them to open up.

· Security — try to be consistent in your approach with what you find that works when the child is experiencing stress.

· Physical Exercise — exercise helps burn off stressful feelings.

· Humor — help children see the funny side of things.

· Quiet Time — offer them opportunities for quiet time. Offer them a book or read their favorite story to them.

· Balanced diet — offer children a healthy, balanced diet.

· Sleep habits — if not already in place, create a set schedule for bedtime and stick to it. Allow children to sleep the recommended amount based on their age.

With older children, you may try having a discussion about what stress is. The discussion can include learning about the ways stress manifests in our bodies — e.g., rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, fast breathing, headaches, tummy aches, tight muscles. Ask your child if they have noticed any of those symptoms. Creating awareness of their own bodily sensations when in stress can teach them to recognize when they are in stress and can help them move towards managing their stress. Follow up with discussions on what to do when we feel stressed out. Be curious about their answers!