Navigating Tricky Transitions
Transitions can be tricky for toddlers and little ones. It can be hard for them to pull their attention away from something they are doing (ex: playing with toys) and be willing to do something else (ex: get ready for bed). It can become a battle of wills and often leads to meltdowns. Developmentally, toddlers are becoming more independent and autonomous. Here are some tips and strategies that may help make those tricky transitions a bit easier:
- Have a routine — many children thrive on having a consistent routine. Knowing what to expect and what comes next helps them move from one activity to another. You can try using a visual schedule of different day-to-day activities to help with transitions. Take their bed-time routine for example — a picture of them brushing their teeth, washing their face, reading a story or laying in bed may be helpful.
- Plan ahead. If your child needs a lot of time to process transitions, plan to start the transition 10–20 minutes before you need to go so that you are not under time constraints and you can be with your child in their feelings. It’s much harder to be patient and relaxed when you are worried about being late, which can make the transition worse.
- Try a timer or a verbal reminder — “ We have 10 minutes left at the park so, when the timer goes off, it means we need to leave the park.” Young children don’t really have the same concept of time as we do, so they might need more of a verbal countdown — “Looks like there is 5 more minutes until the timer goes off and then we will have to leave the park.”
- Give them a heads up: Let them know about the transition that is happening soon and offer them choices ahead of time:
— “We have to leave grandma’s house in five minutes. I wonder if you’re going to carry my water bottle or your toy when we leave?” — “It’s time to go. I know we are having so much fun, it’s hard to leave grandma’s. We are going to see grandma in 4 sleeps. I can’t remember, are you going to carry my water bottle or your toy?”
— “We have to leave the park soon, what is one more thing you would like to do before we leave? Would you like to use the slide or the swing?”
5. If your child resists, offer a different choice that involves movement:
— “Do you want to walk on my feet (robot walk) or hop out the door?”
— “Do you want to walk or run to the car?”
6. Sometimes transitions can be very challenging for children. If they are still resisting, they may just need more time. Take some breaths, get some water (offer your child some, too). Get down to the child’s level and take some calming breaths. Then empathize:
— “You were having so much fun playing with grandma and then I said we had to go. That must have felt hard. I wish we could stay longer, too. Maybe on our walk home, we could collect some things to give to grandma when we see her again (e.g. rocks, leaves, sticks).”
Transitions are a part of life and for most children are tricky. It’s important to remember that our children are not trying to be difficult but that they are learning to navigate transitions with your guidance. The most important thing is to maintain a loving connection throughout the transition and know that you both will make it to the other side.
