Xanadu
Undo
Even Death doesn’t want me
The macabre, gruesome, horrifying and most unsuitable (38)
My world fades in and out
In a daze as I fly above it all
And look down
My heart starts to beat again
Knocking in my chest bursting into life
I tried to stop them from saving me
Why the fuck am I still here?
They said I tried to kill myself again
They don’t see it
The abuse hopelessness hypocrisy
In the name of God I heal you
Well fuck you too
Go home and beat your wife
Leave me alone in my misery
They don’t see it fucking idiots
Or they wish not to be bothered
Only caring about their own shitty little lives
You can’t kill yourself
When you are already dead
I tried so hard every time
Everything is such a struggle
So painful so unnecessary
Death came and took me
And then gave me back
Even Death doesn’t want me
She said even in the darkness
There must be contrast
Death was never evil
But only a slight reprieve
Until it all starts again
She told me to stay
And one day I will be ready
But not yet
Leaving was never my choice to make
How many times do I have to scream it?
I don’t want to be here
I did not choose this
Perhaps not — She said — “But you can choose now, to break free”
I can’t choose better I don’t know how
I don’t deserve happiness nothing is for free
I need to earn it to deserve it
By the sweat of my brow
And the scars on my body
Atone for my sins
And become a just human being
“Don’t you see? You are pure light
You are deluded, out of touch
Letting the Dream-Killers take control
We live in a Dream-World
In an infinite timeline
In a continuous loop
You need to elevate yourself
And bridge the gap
Between there here and reality
The Ancients built Dream-Temples
Special places to connect to the Otherworld
They believed time was an illusion
Only a man-made concept to somehow
Measure and justify our existence
They believed we could
Bend and shape ourselves
We are immortal eternal and timeless
You only need to close your eyes and
Feel it expect it believe
This is true faith
Believing in yourself and your dream
And as you go along continuously
You will eventually realize
It was never about the dream
But about what you have Become
Closer to who you are
We are all beautiful souls
Creating a New World
We do not live in fear”
I wake up muttering to myself
As they stare at me confused concerned
While I softly whisper
We need to find the others
Like me
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