Self-Love

Walking Away

An Act of Self-Love

Brenda Hukel, MBA
Future Light

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Photo by Nathan McBride on Unsplash

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Recently, an old friend reached out to me. Hearing her voice again after all the time had passed between us was heartwarming, and we quickly caught up on each other’s lives.

During our conversation, she revealed a painful incident involving her close friends. It happened when they volunteered as mothers to decorate for the high school prom. She heard her name as she approached the meeting room and slowed to listen — they were talking about her.

They criticized her parenting, her weight, and her style and even ridiculed her for finding comfort in spirituality after her divorce and the recent loss of her mother, whom she was extremely close to.

Feeling deeply hurt, she left, texting from her car about a sudden schedule conflict as she cried.

She confided that she hadn’t told them about overhearing the conversation and still met up with them as if nothing had happened, yet she continued to struggle with feelings of hurt and betrayal.

Seeking comfort, she asked me if I had ever faced such betrayal. ‘More times than you can imagine,’ I said.

She asked me how I handled the situation and was surprised when I told her I often walked away and was grateful to God for revealing my betrayal’s true colors to me.

‘Weren’t you upset?’ she asked. I explained to her that initially, yes, but I soon realized that when God removes someone from your life or grants you insight into their character, you have a choice—to walk away from toxicity or to stay in a damaging relationship.

When you walk away and remove people who aren’t loyal from your life, God will bring you new people who are because you deserve respect and loyal, faithful, true friends, I explained.

I also wanted her to understand that I wasn’t implying that she shouldn’t share her hurt feelings with those who betrayed her if that’s what she felt she needed to do, but rather recognize that it takes strength to love herself enough to make the right decision.

We all make mistakes and should find forgiveness when others hurt us. But when it becomes intentional, and the behavior doesn’t change, we must decide to walk away or engage.

Betrayal can be overwhelming, stirring up feelings of anger, fear, and defensiveness, but it also presents an opportunity for growth.

It’s about recognizing your self-worth and having the strength to prioritize your well-being.

Walking away isn’t always easy, nor does it mean you’re weak; it requires facing your fears, setting boundaries, and sometimes disappointing others.

It’s finding the strength to love yourself enough to let go so God can bring you new relationships that nurture, support, and provide love.

It means facing your fears, leaving behind what’s comfortable, and saying goodbye to what no longer serves you.

It’s about setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being, even if it means standing alone.

Walking away from toxicity is a way of caring for yourself, regaining your peace of mind, and creating space for healthier relationships and new opportunities.

It’s an act of self-love.

Walking away means letting go of old beliefs or habits that hold you back. It’s about breaking free from past conditioning and learning to prioritize your needs.

And sometimes, walking away means leaving behind environments or situations that no longer serve your highest good.

It’s about recognizing when it’s time to move on and seek new opportunities for happiness and fulfillment. Whether it’s a job, a place, or a lifestyle that no longer feels right, walking away allows you to create space for something better.

But walking away isn’t giving up — it’s choosing yourself. It’s about knowing your worth and refusing to settle for anything less than you deserve.

It’s a bold statement that says, “I matter, and I deserve to be happy, respected, and loved.” It’s an empowering act of self-love.”

Walking away empowers you to take control of your life and make choices that align with your values and dreams.

Here are some steps to consider when contemplating walking away:

  1. Evaluate the impact the relationship has on your well-being.
  2. Notice warning signs of toxicity.
  3. Establish clear boundaries, and don’t allow others to disrespect them.
  4. Explore alternatives while trusting your instincts.
  5. Prepare an exit plan, including support systems.
  6. Prioritize self-care and stand firm in your decision.
  7. Reflect on your experience without judgment.

Walking away takes courage. Know that you deserve love, respect, and people who genuinely care about you and your well-being.

But, equally important, it must begin with you loving yourself first.

Explore further insights on fearlessly authentic living in my other articles and my upcoming book, soon to be released! Stay tuned for the upcoming release date.

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Brenda Hukel, MBA
Future Light

After 30 years in HR/OD, I left my exec position to write a book empowering women to become fearlessly authentic. My book is slated for release in Q3, 2024.