5 Highlights From My Journey With the addictions of Life
And why everyone will benefit on applying it!
Hare Krishna! My journey in Krishna consciousness began with giving up bad habits, which remains very important to me. I was not thinking so much about reaching somewhere or not even achieving something. What mattered was to avoid the guilt that came out of that helplessness.
One thing that helped was when beginning this process. I placed my faith in the people. It is true across many organizations!
1. People drive people.
I can trace my bad habits to standard 8 when discussing girlfriend and boyfriend issues. I was in a relationship in standard ten. Infatuation with the opposite sex had become a dreadful thing.
In college, people were quite outgoing about drinking and sex. I can only better recollect my emotions through the below poem written at that time.
What did I lose?
The book remains unread,
While I munch upon the breakfast bread.
One morning, I wake up to the chirping of birds,
The night closes with a dried thirst.
Long before the line, my race had ended.
The lust for life, my dreams, had offended.
All the laurels would have been mine,
If I had learned to fall in line.
Now losing the poise, skeptic of all,
I reason pride with purpose
Saying “it’s not so bad after all”;
Of mediocrity, my conscience did warn me.
But in its solace, a peace I had found.
So the book remains unread,
While I munch upon the breakfast bread.
So this went on for a long time. I had started accepting mediocrity as the rule of the day. To still reclaim some self-esteem, I had engaged myself in seemingly big things but had no value and were bound to end up in more frustration. Fortunately, around that time, I met the ‘brahmachari’ devotees of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu.
Sure enough, there it was on their faces the brilliance of austerity. Discussions on the philosophy had a sort of intellectual rāsa. I would spend my leisure time with them rather than hanging out with my friends. Tranquility surcharged their place. Their lifestyle was so disciplined and yet so upbeat.
The ecstatic kirtans that happened twice daily had a big draw on me. I would close my eyes and jump high trying to compete with others and eventually find myself all over with sweat and sometimes even facing a different direction. Since everyone was my age, I guess it helped.
I even had the opportunity to go on a trip to Jaipur and Vrindavan. There my conviction was more solidified. Seeing so many ‘brahmachari’ devotees, I felt it was not at all that difficult to follow ‘Brahmacharya.’
However, as time had it, I succumbed to lust and fell back to my old cycle, and then the ease of Krishna consciousness went missing. I would have difficulties with my folk guide due to his concern over displaying passion and ignorance in my activities.
I remember frequently praying that I would not have to leave folk as my purpose of being there would not be fulfilled otherwise. One thing led to another, and one day, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I left the folk hostel.
I returned though on the same day or instead on the night of the same day. After taking a nap in a friend’s room, I realized that I had made a mistake. There were many reasons I considered. One was the social ego I enjoyed when I invited my friends over to folk residency to enjoy nice kirtan and delicious feasts, which would not be possible now.
One other reason was that I was used to lecturing people on the importance of spiritual life. It would have negatively impacted the perception of some spiritual aspirants who personally knew me. The third reason was that I could not eat Bhoga or food unoffered to the lord, fully aware that it is highly sinful.
The final reason was that it rained cats and dogs that day, one of the heaviest rains I had seen in my life, and I considered it as an omen. Not being very candid with my folk guide, I did not give any of the above reasons for coming back. I said,
2. I am a spirit soul!
My folk guide was delighted and happily welcomed me.
The purpose of recounting this incident in detail was that I consider a turnaround in my life. In the aftermath of the incident, I discussed with another senior ‘brahmachari’ devotee, and he gave one piece of advice, which I grabbed on to with my whole heart. The advice he gave me was not new but it was only then that I got the opportunity of applying it.
3. The purpose of life is to become a servant of the servant of the Lord.
After that, I remember many incidents that came up wherein some fellow friend or senior used to ask me to do something not much agreeable to me. Still, I did it knowing that I am a servant and had no right to say a ‘No.’ This didn’t go unnoticed with my folk authorities, and relationships improved.
This advice was given to me when I moved to another folk residency in Delhi, where I had my final year internship. This message was equally powerful. Prabhu told me,
Be very respectful to your new folk guide and keep a congenial relationship with him.
4. There is nothing in life easier than pleasing a Vaishnava.
Also, there is nothing more worthwhile one can do.
When I started practicing with this simple instruction, my life became full of newer pleasures. I began to enjoy Krishna consciousness.
Now, when I look back, I have learned from this experience that sorting out the issue of lust is not a piece of cake. The cause of lust is one of the three fundamental energies that make up this material creation. This energy is in the mode of passion.
My whole life, I was running to achieve things I didn’t have, and I was hence very much under the influence of this energy. The other points are in modes of ignorance and goodness, respectively.
By engaging in the spiritual lifestyle, I have seen myself acknowledging the lust in me. This awareness is a positive sign of being in goodness. Hearing from transcendental literature like Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagavatam helped to pick up the nuances working in the background.
Well, I cannot say that I am strong enough to have conquered over lust. Lust is always sitting with me, ready to pounce as soon as I fail even in the slightest manner to remember Krishna. Now, one thing I can say is very true,
5. One cannot be happy as long as he is agitated by the senses.
I may be in this position that Prabhupada explains as the edge of the knife all my life. It is meant for the greater good to develop my love and remembrance of Krishna.
Conclusion
I pray for the blessings of the readers that I may be steadfast in my spiritual practices and not fall against this vital energy of Krishna. Prabhupada says that his disciples should be ordained ministers so that people may not find any faults with them no matter when and how they may test.
I pray to the six Goswamis to give me more of the preaching potency so that I may be always absorbed in thinking of service and not get time to contemplate sexual desire.
How do I offer prayers?
So many contenders for God! Whom do I worship?
I will talk about these in my next article. Until then, Hare Krishna!
The importance of spiritual life and the step-by-step procedure to realize is it yourself is described very elaborately in the book Srimad Bhagavatam, based on Bhagavad Gita, the timeless jewel from the Indian Vedic texts. This book gives a complete understanding of this subject.
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