On shame and hidden pains

Takeaways from the mental health talks I attended this month.

Photo by Kevin Jesus Horacio on Unsplash

If you noticed a spike in the number of mental wellness talks held over the past month, that’s because October 10 was World Mental Health Day. It’s the day mandated by the World Health Organization (WHO) with the aim of “raising awareness of mental health issues around the world and mobilizing efforts in support of mental health.”

Anyway, I attended two mental health talks this month, partly to write stories for publications, and partly also to personally learn more about the topic. Here are my key takeaways:

• 3.3 million Filipinos suffer from depression, according to WHO’s 2017 data. Another 3.1 million suffer from anxiety disorders. A lot suffer from it silently because…
• …there’s a significant stigma associated with seeking help from mental health professionals. In one local hospital, in fact, a doctor observed that the more high profile a mother is, the less inclined she becomes to seek help from her postpartum depression. That’s because she couldn’t risk being perceived as “unstable” and thus tarnish her stature.
• The incredible pain inflicted on sexual assault victims is multiplied when the perpetrator is a close relative or a trusted partner. Unfortunately, the perpetrators usually are close relatives or trusted partners. I’ve heard stories from individuals who were abused by their boyfriend, father, and grandfathers.
• That it’s the victims of sexual abuse that carry the shame and guilt of their traumatic experiences is a great unfairness. Some of the victims whose stories I heard were advised not to speak out because of the scandal such an admission would entail. I realize that this was meant to be well-meaning advice from concerned family members, but I fear it’s the type of well-meaning advice that just wounds instead of heals.
• The best defense against acute stress is self-awareness. If you are self-aware, then you know when you’re already starting to get stressed. Self-knowledge equips you with the specific strategies you need to then effectively cope with that stress. Using these strategies will help prevent you from spiralling downward.
• There are trustworthy, reliable, and anonymous hotlines you can call if you feel the need to unburden yourself but don’t know where to go. One of this is the National Center for Mental Health’s USAP hotline: 0917 899 USAP (8727).

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