Revisiting the “Sunscreen” Speech, 25 Years Later
Note: Soundtrack used for writing this blog: Best of Thomas Bergersen (Two Steps From Hell) — Most Powerful Epic Music Mix (yes, I will always share the soundtrack that propelled my writing)
In 1999, a rehashed Chicago Tribune op-ed by Mary Schmich took the internet by storm. The column, “Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the youth”, first written in 1997, took a life of its own first as a commencement address attributed to Kurt Vonnegut and later as a remix song by Baz Luhrmann, where it took MTV by storm. Remember, we’re talking 1999 here… social media was random GeoCities pages, Friendster, MySpace, or Facebook were pipe dreams at the time, we relied on ICQ and MSN Messenger to talk to each other, no YouTube to make videos viral… and even so, “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” was a huge hit at the time. I share the video here for your viewing pleasure:
I was 25 when I first found out about the video and later I learned about the article. As the article itself reaches 25 … and I’m no longer a 20-something school teacher but a 40-almost-50 professor, I thought it would be fun to revisit the “Sunscreen” essay once more and see what lessons ring truer now than then. There may be advice dispensed here, who knows, but let’s get the cat out of the bag, shall we?
Wearing Sunscreen remains the most up-to-date piece of advice in that essay!
Ok, now that we quickly got out of the way, let’s see what else we can gather from looking back at this speech:
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
Yup… I’ve learned that over the years that worrying and panicking don’t solve anything. They just blur your vision and force you into bad decisions (like for example, breaking your shoulder because you were too worried not to notice your gate right before you and you started running at the airport! #truestory) It’s okay to plan for the future but worrying about the future is an exercise in futility and sometimes you end up missing the good stuff in the present (like, the gate that was where it had always been had you slowed down long enough to remember!)
Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
This is one lesson I have learned deeply as an academic. Academia can be a ruthless place if you let it get away with it. Imposter syndrome is real, no lie there. We’ve all faced it. I have faced it, still do sometimes. But over time, I have realized that when you stop competing against others, true friendships emerge and you will meet people who truly respect your work as much as you respect theirs. I have really good friends who are academics (starting with my spouse, of course) and the love and respect is genuine once you move past jealousy.
Conversely, just because the race is with yourself doesn’t mean you should be harsh on yourself (I’ll return to this in a bit). Long races demand discipline, yes, but also kindness to oneself. I always tell my students that writing a thesis or a dissertation is like plotting a marathon race: If you want to end, you want to pace yourself and know when it’s a good time to go easy and when to go full throttle. Kindness to oneself is the key to not only finishing the race but also making sure you’re in the right condition for the next challenge ahead of you.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
So, as I was writing this blog, a memory from my childhood just popped up: I just remembered one night I couldn’t sleep… maybe I had nightmares or something and my dad was out of town on military business. I really, really couldn’t sleep… and I just remembered how my mom helped me relax and get back to sleep by reading old letters she and my dad wrote to each other when they were dating. I’m pretty sure bank statements would’ve just made things worst so I guess it’s good to keep those old letters around! (For the record, my partner and I also keep the letters we wrote to ourselves when we were dating… and for the record, GenZ folx… have you considered reviving letter writing as the next big trend for this decade? If you have, please let me know! I think we need more letters and fewer e-mails to be honest!)
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
What to do with your life is something one sometimes figures out as one goes. When I was doing my major, back in 1994 B.C. (“the Jurassic Era, when the velociraptors used to roam around my campus” as I’ve told students since 2009), I wanted todo a master’s in American Literature… yup, that ship sailed a while ago. I started a master’s in teacher ed… ended up doing my PhD in language and literacy… and I’m now in Norway. It’s important to have plans and goals and dreams, but don’t get so entrenched in those goals that you will miss the bigger picture… the one thing you want to do with your life is live it at its fullest, whether by yourself or with whoever you find along the road to live it with!
Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.
It’s okay to celebrate your accomplishments, please do. We live in a world where feeling a healthy sense of pride is bad but where dealing with imposter syndrome is par for the course. It’s okay to be critical of yourself, that can lead to self-actualization. Being overly critical is harmful as you never see what’s good in you and that feeling usually becomes a gateway for grass-is-greener syndrome. Once again, wishing for better things for you is just a sign of self-actualization, and there are times when the grass really is greener on the other side; in others, what our side needs is a little more gardening.
But let me get back on why not berating yourself matters so much: Healthy self-criticism means you know you can do better and you will do what it takes to do so. Self-beratement just makes you feel you will never do better, only worse each time. That’s digging a hole you can never get yourself out of (and believe me, I have been in that hole too… therapy got me out of it) so don’t do that to yourself. If you’re reading this and are in that hole, you can get out of it, just have faith in humanity for there are people out there who do care about you.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
I would update this sentence to 2022, actually. I would say something along these lines:
Do not read beauty magazines, do not take all Instagram posts too seriously, do not listen too closely to social media. They will only make you feel ugly and sad about your life if you give a chance to all the filters and poses. Give these the benefit of the doubt and don’t let them dictate the tempo of your life.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
I would add here “Make sure there is someone whose advice you trust and listen to them.” As an academic, I’ve learned to cherish the idea of being and having mentors. I’ve been blessed with incredible mentors over my career (some still remain as such and I seek their counsel often) and now I’m honored to mentor several cohorts of students and friends in Colombia and elsewhere. The fact that they ask for my counsel is the biggest honor they have bestowed upon me.
Well, this is my first blog entry in “Patronomics 101”. I wanted to get these ideas off my chest because I’ve found myself repeating some of these lines as advice to myself over the years and I found it fun to share with the world. If you read this post and you like it, let me know. Patronomics 101 is a personal blog so I’ll be sharing more insights in days to come. Thank you for spending a few minutes with my thoughts.
The Blogger, The Thinker, The Provocateur… The Dr. of Patronomics.
