Avoiding Harm
Have you ever noticed how certain people seem to find themselves in the same harmful situations, time and again?
This could be the guy friend who, while generally being a good person, always seems to get into fist fights with people. Or the sweet girl friend you’ve known since high school who always ends up in relationships with men who are bad for them. What is it about these folks that seems to draw them into bad situations?
I was reading Thomas Cleary’s translation of the Tao Te Ching this morning, and it got me thinking about all of this. Here’s the passage in question (Tao Te Ching 50, From Life Into Death):
Exiting life, we enter death.
The followers of life are three out of ten,
the followers of death are three out of ten;
in the lives of the people,
the dying grounds on which they are agitated
are also three out of ten.
What is the reason?
Because of the seriousness
with which they take life as life.
It has been said
that those who maintain life well
do not meet rhinos or tigers on land
and do not arm themselves in war.
There is no way for rhinos to gore them;
there is no way for tigers to claw them;
there is no way for weapons to get at them.
Why? Because they have no dying ground.
This will be an unpopular statement, given current culture, because what I will say here is not far from “blaming the victim”. However, I often find that we open ourselves to harm in ways that cause us to experience the same difficulties over and over again. This is not to excuse those who attack and hurt us, as much as it is a call for us to wise up and strengthen our defenses around our biggest vulnerabilities.
Personally, I have found that arrogance, alcohol, and the need for companionship are my points of greatest weakness. These are the vices that open me most to harm; they form my “dying ground”. Over the years, I have constructed better defenses and safe guards around these vulnerabilities, but I have realized recently that the walls I’ve built are not immune to attack.
But, I forgive myself for my failures, and I seek ways to improve. A millimeter of advancement every day may not seem like much, but, over time, it adds up to real progress.
