Taming My Ego
Or How I Think I’m Better Than You
One of the things that I struggle with most is my ego. A lot of people would say this, but my struggle is qualitatively and quantitatively different from most everyone else’s. What sets me apart from most of you is that ever since I was born, I have held the unshakeable belief that I am better than everyone else.
Now, I know on some fundamental level that this is not true. I have a mix of abilities and talents, and I am not superior to everyone in every dimension. However, despite all evidence to the contrary, I continue to have this obnoxious royal attitude that I am the best and that I should therefore be in charge. I sometimes refer to this attitude as The Kanye Syndrome.
It should be noted that this has gotten me in trouble ever since I was a kid. People don’t like it when you act like you’re better than them. And what’s even worse, I acted this way today, in public, on Facebook. I was a dick to someone I know in the comments on his post, and when he tells you that I’m an asshole, you should believe him. I shot off my mouth, calling people on the thread “hood rats”, while strongly implying that they were highly uneducated. This is definitely one of my more shameful moments.
You might be wondering at this point why I’m even writing this down. Well, I’m putting this into words in an effort to disarm myself. I’ve made progress over the years in shrinking my ego, but it is clear to me that I have a long way to go. I’m hoping that a dose of radical honesty will help to force me onto the right path. To quote Louis Brandeis, “Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants”. And, in that spirit, I want to shine a light on one of my darker, less admirable qualities.
