Other Questions The Children In Hit Man Might Have Someday

“How did you and Daddy get away with murder?”

Amy Greenlee
Pause Button
2 min readAug 19, 2024

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Image from Netflix’s Hit Man

How did you and Daddy really meet?

How did you and Daddy get away with murder?

How were you able to type out all that information while you were talking to Mommy?

How did you type it that fast in ALL CAPS?

Did you ever ask Mommy about that whole life insurance thing?

Do you feel confident enough in her answer to take out a policy on yourself?

Do you still need to teach philosophy at the college now that you guys have all that insurance money?

When you were trying to decide whether or not to kill Jasper, could you foresee how good Mommy would be at making the apple pie and costumes for your college events?

Why do you need costumes for your college events?

Does Mommy have a personality outside of making things for your college events and wanting to have sex with you?

Are you sure? What evidence do you have of that?

Wait. Was I conceived while Jasper was laying there with a bag over his head?

WHY AREN’T YOU GUYS ANSWERING THE QUESTION?!

Is killing someone the only way to prove you are a passionate person, or can I do something less intense, like learning how to play the piano?

What if the music I learn to play on the piano is Jazz?

Do you think I will be good at the piano because of how fast Dad is at typing things?

If the police ever offer me money to turn you guys in, should I seize that opportunity?

What if having a bunch of money is the identity I want for myself?

Do you think it’s really possible to commit murder and live happily ever after?

How’s the pie? How does it feel to have it and eat it too?

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Amy Greenlee is the Editor of Pause Button and Gospel of Jest. You can find her on Medium and Twitter.

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Amy Greenlee
Pause Button

Editor of Pause Button & Gospel of Jest. Words in McSweeneys, Belladonnas, Slackjaw, etc. Writes to the sound of her kids screaming. Twitter: @greenleeish