The Academy Asks: Are We Asking The Right Questions?
Oppenheimer: “Ok. Question: Was the Atomic Bomb horrific?”
The Academy: “Absolutely.”
Oppenheimer: “But why was it horrific?”
The Academy: “Because of how it made one man question if he had become too powerful, obviously.”
Oppenheimer: “Ok, great. I think we are on the same page here.”
The Academy: “Yes, we definitely are.”
Maestro: “Let’s say you’re a woman who’s in a bad marriage.”
The Academy: “Sorry, you’re losing us.”
Maestro: “Let’s say you’re a man with a wandering eye.”
The Academy: “We’re tracking again. Please continue.”
Maestro: “Our film explores if a woman should stay with a man with a wandering eye, as long as he keeps making good music.”
The Academy: “Yes, we like this question. You’re in.”
Anatomy of a Fall: “If a woman is in a bad marriage, and her husband dies suddenly, how do we know what happened?”
The Academy: “I mean, she probably killed him, right?”
Anatomy of a Fall: “Well, I don’t think we know that. I think the more important question — and one that the film is trying to explore — is how will society evaluate a woman in a situation like this?”
The Academy: “Okay… How about you explore that question for 152 minutes, and we’ll pretend like we haven’t already made up our minds?”
Barbie: “What if feminism but also nostalgia for a toy?”
The Academy: “A toy? Like something you could buy in a Target?”
Barbie: “Yeah, a Barbie doll.”
The Academy: “A doll?!”
Barbie: “Yeah, a toy that influenced women.”
The Academy: *sits down* “We’re gonna have to think about this one.”
Poor Things: “What if Frankenstein but the monster is a woman with a baby brain? And what if we are all just little freak creations with a deep need to explore our world and make sense of our existence?”
The Academy: “What kind of exploring?”
Poor Things: “Food. Music. Literature. Sex.”
The Academy: “So like self discovery through sex?”
Poor Things: “Sort of, but that’s not the only thing we’re…”
The Academy: “It’s fine.”
Past Lives: “The Korean concept of In-Yun asks if two people can be connected through fate based on their previous lives.”
The Academy: “So like, even if you’re married, maybe you should go on a date with an old girlfriend if the two of you still have strong feelings?”
Past Lives: “I wouldn’t say that’s the main question. It’s more like…”
Saltburn, interrupting: “Our film is also about strong feelings.”
The Academy: “Oh! Saltburn. I didn’t realize you were still here. What did you say?”
Saltburn: “Our film explores what happens when people have really strong feelings of desire and obsession about a connection.”
The Academy: Right. Right. Yes, we do remember seeing that. Unfortunately— and we realize a lot of people don’t actually know this about The Academy, but — there is a line. Like, technically, eventually, there’s a line.”
Poor Things: *quickly ducks behind Past Lives and decides to keep a low profile until Saltburn leaves*
American Fiction: “We are trying to explore if a Black man has to meet certain expectations of blackness and/or put trauma on display in order to matter.”
The Academy: “Hmmm… We’ve never really thought about…”
Saltburn, interrupting again: “Our film asks a similar question.”
The Academy: *jumps with surprise* “Gah! Saltburn. I thought we discontinued you. Sorry, what were you saying?”
Saltburn: “Yeah, erm, our film explores if a middle class white person has to pretend to have trauma and, like, also seduce and kill off each member of a family, just to have their own castle. Anymore.”
The Academy: *briefly huddles up to talk as a group, turns to Saltburn: “We’ve decided that we would like to know the answer to this question. We still can’t nominate you for anything. But — please — do report back on what you find out.”
American Fiction: “Would you like to know what we find out?”
The Academy: “Sorry. What was your question again? Did you say something about trauma?”
Killers of the Flower Moon ; The Zone of Interest: “We want to explore how individuals can commit acts of unspeakable, dehumanizing violence while maintaining a veil of normalcy. [see also: Oppenheimer].”
The Academy: “This question is timeless of course. You really didn’t need to ask for permission.”
Saltburn: *casts a bitter look in both of their directions*
The Holdovers: “Everybody hates the person handing out the grade, am I right?”
The Academy: “That’s for sure. It is so hard to be a judge of anything these days.”
The Holdovers: “I mean look at all these kids with their hopeful little faces. Don’t they realize they are eventually going to end up old and hated and disgruntled?”
The Academy: “They don’t seem to realize that yet.”
The Holdovers: “Also, weren’t the 70s great?”
The Academy: “They were, weren’t they? They were like really great.”
Previous installments in this series: The Academy Asks: Are We Depressing Them Enough?
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Amy Greenlee is the Editor of Pause Button and Gospel of Jest. You can find her on Medium and Twitter.
