Student, son, father, veteran
By Ben Avraham
Every one of us holds multiple identities throughout our lives. Some of us assume multiple identities throughout the day. Quinn Trujeque has many titles. He is a student, a veteran, the president of the veteran’s club, a Marine, a son, and a brother. But first and foremost, he is a father.
Trujeque’s own father was incarcerated when he was two years old. His mom raised him and his three brothers on her own. The last time Trujeque saw his father he was 13 years old and he hasn’t had any contact with him since. Yet, he still thinks about renewing the relationship with him.
“I think it would be important for me for my kids to know their grandfather, that’s the only reason why I would get in touch,” Trujeque said.
Growing up in Culver City with immigrant parents, Trujeque has been distancing himself from his father and his Belizean heritage his entire life.
“I didn’t really ask many questions, whatever happened happened, that’s probably another reason for shame. Under this dark past that I didn’t want to get into, the less I knew, the better,” he said. “I went to a pretty much all white school and I think that had something to do with it because, at that time, Hispanics were looked down upon so I kind of inherited that and I didn’t want to be attached to that.”
The complex relationship with his Belizean identity was something that he carried through to adulthood and even struggles with to this day.
“Early on in my military career, with my ex wife I was like yeah we are not going to speak Spanish, my son is not going to learn Spanish,” Trujeque admits.
Now that he is about to turn 30, Trujeque is starting to embrace his cultural background, and he attributes this change to his education.
“I’m just learning more about my heritage now, especially since I’m taking the ethnics class, I was a little hesitant to get into it because I didn’t know much about myself so I didn’t want to learn about anybody else,” he said.
Change for Trujeque also comes with regret. Now he wishes he had explored his culture sooner and plans to teach his children about it as well.
“Maybe I was ashamed of it a little bit, I think that was a big reason, having immigrant parents,” Trujeque contemplated. “Even now I don’t know my whole story, sometimes I take my mom out to dinner and I just poke around to see what she would say and I feel like I learn something new every single time.”
Trujeque’s educational journey has done much more than teach him, it has transformed him in many ways. Not only does he have a renewed interest in his family heritage, it’s helped him as a father.
“I don’t think my mom ever graduated middle school,” Trujueque said, “and I didn’t do great in school either. I wasn’t dumb, I just didn’t see where it is going to get me because I didn’t have an example.”
He appreciates how important it is for him to set an example for his kids since he didn’t have one, and views it as a way of relating to them.
“That’s one way I can connect to my kids, through education, we’re all going through it. I know how they are, I can push them, and they can see how I’m pushing myself,” he said. “Once they are going to sleep, I still have work to do or while they’re playing or doing whatever they have to do I got work, I take work to their games.”
On a typical day he is up at 8 a.m. for his fatherly duties, preparing his kids Liam and Leah for school. After dropoff it’s time to become a student and finish his assignment for astronomy class. By 3 p.m. it’s off to Liam’s baseball practice with Leah tagging along so they can head to her choir practice as soon as Liam’s practice ends.
Trujeque himself is more of a basketball enthusiast and admits he knows nothing about baseball. Although, lately stated that he has been attempting to get more involved since Liam seems to be enjoying it.
Trujeque had his first child at 20. As a young Marine he had to face decisions that most don’t have to make in their lifetime. One day an offer came to advance his military career, an opportunity he still thinks about to this day. His commanding officer gave Trujeque the option to stay in his current position or go abroad for 3 years.
“I was an E3, I was 20 and that’s kind of the decision that makes your career,” Trujeque explained. His ex-wife was due to give birth to their son in a month. “I didn’t know what fatherhood was like, I don’t have a dad and that’s one thing I didn’t have an example for and I had to answer that question within 5 minutes.”
Trujeque decided to stay with his new family and pass on the opportunity, a decision that would eventually lead to his exit from the military.
“With my daughter I kind of had to figure everything out outside of the military while transitioning who I was going to be in this new world I knew nothing about because my first job was being in the Marines, that’s all I knew,” Trujueque said.
After leaving the military, Trujeque had found a new identity. Being a vet.
“I was still military minded for I want to say 4 years until I realized this isn’t going to get me anywhere here, I can’t fuse these things together, I can’t be that hothead anymore,” Trujeque explained. “The first thing that I had to change was my language, the way I talked, I definitely couldn’t curse as much as I used to. I would walk into places and people would automatically know somehow.”
Like many veterans, transitioning to a civilian life was not an easy task for Trujeque who had to adapt to a new way of living for his young family and himself.
“I remember for the longest I tried to take whatever that was away, whether it is a different hairstyle or just getting acclimated to people around me and try to act like them too, but it always seemed like a negative thing and it wasn’t until I came to the VRC being around so many veterans that I regained that positivity about having that veteran tag connected to me,” Trujeque said.
The VRC aided Trujeque with finding community as well as how he could come to terms with the concepts of his military identity.
“I guess it goes back to me being Belizean and having my ethnic background,” Trujeque said. “There was some shame there for some reason. There was a negative connotation connected to being a veteran and that’s a stigma I didn’t learn how to deal with. If I didn’t find the VRC I think I’d still feel the same way.”
In a few months Trujeque will be graduating with an associate degree in communications and will be transferring to California State University Northridge to pursue a master’s degree in speech pathology.
Many veterans like Trujeque face prejudice associated with their identity. While our backgrounds are a key to who we are now, human brains love to compartmentalize and label individuals. This system is efficient but often it is extremely misleading. Ethnic background, military service, even being incarcerated — one’s journey when dealing with preconceptions can be unforgiving.
Education was a breakthrough for Trujeque in understanding his own identities, and while his journey at PCC is about to end, the journey of understanding and accepting will continue.
