How My Experience Helps Others
What It Really Takes To Help
When my life situation changed with my divorce and a new chapter of life began, it was an up and down struggle for some time.
I charted my way through the blame, the loss, the self-discovery, the questions and most importantly the growth.
Looking back, I can’t believe that a decade has passed since.
I know the person I am now; the past person I was, I vaguely remember.
I have stepped up and out with confidence, not overnight but with time, tears, prayers, right books, and a few right friends who refused to allow me to sink in any abyss of self-pity.
I have a vision, every year it comes clearer, not only a vision, but taking active steps in achieving it.
Life has not been without challenges, but I have continued stepping in the purpose I have been called to.
Recently a friend of mine was faced with making some changes in her life. It would require leaving a familiar environment, family and travel to a new place and begin all over again. It also involved a separation from her spouse. I was called upon to help.
As someone who works helping others, I thought it wouldn’t feel evasive, I thought it would be simple.
I felt like a hypocrite.
It is easy to hear a client state their concerns and guide them to a place of moving forward.
Yet I never was in the place of standing as a personal support system.
It cost me time, some knocks to my reputation by the misrepresentation of the words being said. It cost me sorry to say, a few sleepless nights.
I finally realized on a personal note, what it cost to help someone.
It is easy to say, “hope it works out,” “all will be well.” “I am praying for you.”
Yet if we truly are going to help it will cost.
It is a cost that sometimes can’t be truly counted, until you submerge yourself into the abyss and seek to stand through the storm, knowing some of the darts will come your way.
I must be honest, I felt like telling them the phrases I mentioned above, it would be convenient, I could continue with my comfortable life and not be too overly involved, as it is very messy.
Yet , I realized my experiences in the past, my chance meeting with this person who is now a good friend was to bring us to the point where I would have to make a choice “to help or not.”
Pay a cost or just keep comfortable and let them figure out what and how they would make their next move.
I choose to help.
I wish I could say I deserve kudos, but I can’t.
I resisted the inconvenience, the obvious challenges that would come because of helping.
Further all my family felt it best to leave them to “figure it out.” “It’s not your business,” “don’t get involved.’
How could I truly live with myself? Was the thought that made me get up and act.
We talk about creating a world of love, peace, and kindness.
It begins with me, by doing my part.
