Taking Care of Babies When You’re Homeless
The Three Melissas Know Perilous Parenting
This post was written by Diana Bowman, my friend/colleague and co-author of The Three Melissas — The Practical Guide to Surviving Family Homelessness.
Homelessness is devastating in any circumstances, but when you are experiencing homelessness as a parent of young children, you’re juggling a thousand needs and challenges — those of your children and your own. The mothers featured in the upcoming book The Three Melissas: The Practical Guide to Surviving Homelessness know firsthand what this is like.
Meet the Melissas in the following 1-min. video clips: Melissa A, Melissa N, Melissa T.
The lack of quality childcare in the U.S. makes parenting while homeless even more difficult. In the U.S., childcare or early childhood programs are unavailable or unaffordable for most families experiencing homelessness. A recent SchoolHouse Connection report showed that only 11% of young children experiencing homelessness participated in early childhood programs. According to Childcare of America, the national average for the cost of childcare in the U.S. in 2023 was $11,582.
In The Three Melissas, these mothers described situations where they had to choose between leaving their young children with people whom they did not know well or risk losing their job. Their children’s caregivers, even family members, frequently did not provide adequate stimulation or supervision. When their kids did not want to stay with someone, the mothers constantly worried about what was going on when they weren’t around.
The Melissas recounted situations where they did lose their job when childcare arrangements fell through, and they often had to remain unemployed to care for their children, especially for a child with special needs. When they stayed in a shelter, they would have to take their young children with them when the shelters closed during the day. On cold days, they would have to wander with their children outside to find a place to wait until they could return to the shelter in the evening. When living doubled up, they would have to restrict their children’s play and noise so as not to disturb their hosts.
Parents will do whatever it takes to protect their children, and parents who are homeless must often make decisions which delay their progress toward attaining stable housing. Keeping children safe vs. working toward stable housing is not a choice that any parent should have to make. Childcare and early childhood programs should be available for all, and especially for those who are most vulnerable.
For more insights from mothers with lived experience of homelessness, visit www.3melissas.org to learn about the availability of The Three Melissas: The Practical Guide to Surviving Homelessness.
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