So you think all pedophiles are evil

Every time someone talks about a pedophile, people generally agree that such a person is evil, that such a person enjoys abusing children, that such a person needs serious help or should be put in jail or should kill themselves etc etc. Now I will be the first to agree that anyone who harms a child in any way should be punished for their actions, but I’m starting to get a little bit tired of society constantly saying that I should be punished for something I didn’t do and for feelings that I have no control over!

Yes, I am a pedophile — gasp! shock! horror! — but before you start furiously typing your anti-pedophile response or calling the police to report me, know this: I have never, and will never, hurt a child; I am not trying to promote adult-child sex; I do not advocate for the lowering of the age of consent (which I actually feel is far too low in some countries!); I do not look at child porn; I do not condone the abuse of children in any way. I am a pedophile, not a child molester, and I am writing this article in an effort to try and explain to people that being a pedophile is firstly something I have no control over or is something I chose to be, and secondly that it means nothing more than that I am attracted to children but will never act on those attractions because I know that doing so will hurt a child.

Let me ask you something: is it really so hard to believe that people can have different attractions, none of which are ever chosen? People thought homosexuality was abnormal not so long ago, yet today people accept that, however it comes to be, it is merely another sexual orientation. Now as hard as it may be to believe, pedophilia is just the same! I didn’t choose to be a pedophile anymore than a homosexual man chose to be gay! Why on earth would I? Whatever happened to me, whatever went on in my brain while I was growing up, the end result is that I am attracted to kids. I wish I weren’t, but I am.

To further clarify, I invite you to join me in a little exercise which I hope will help you to see things from my point of view.

Imagine that you’re a young teenager. You’re quiet, shy, sensitive and definitely not part of the popular crowd. You’re starting to go through puberty and to discover sex and sexuality. But there’s a problem: the people who appear to turn you on are the same gender! Ok, well, maybe it’s not so bad because you’ve been told that it’s ok to be gay, although you still fear telling anyone that you think you’re that way inclined because you know you’ll probably be endlessly teased, or worse, and so keep it to yourself. Nevertheless, people suspect it of you because they can see that you’re different and so you’re teased anyway.

Now fast forward a few years: your attraction to the same gender hasn’t gone away and has, in fact, become stronger. Ok, still not the end of the world because you’re learning to accept yourself and that it’s ok to be gay. But you slowly begin to realise that, for some inexplicable reason, while you’re getting older, the people who you are drawn to are not and are actually, to your horror, becoming younger and younger in age! What the hell? How did that happen? I should be attracted to people my own age, right, not kids?! What the hell is wrong with me? Why is this happening? You try to fight it, you try telling yourself that maybe it’s just a phase and it’ll end if you stop thinking about it. But you can’t stop thinking about it. And the feelings keep getting stronger, and they’re not going away. You’re getting older but the people you’re attracted to are not! You start to panic. What will people think if they knew? You know you’re not a bad person but everyone will think you want to rape little kids! They’ll think you’re a monster! So you hide away, from your family, your friends, from the world, so that no-one finds out. But the feelings just won’t go away, and there’s no-one you can tell…

Do you perhaps understand a little bit better now, dear reader? I did not choose to be a pedophile, I did not choose to be attracted to kids, but I am, and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about it. I am not a monster; I am a good person who has been dealt a difficult hand in life and am trying to live with that as best I can. Granted, I could choose to act on my feelings and do something to a child, but since, as I said earlier, I know that doing so would cause terrible suffering to a child, I don’t do it. I wouldn’t rape a woman if I were a regular heterosexual guy, so by the same token, I won’t hurt a child. Yes, I fantasise about kids in the safety of my own head since they’re who I’m attracted to, but I am well aware of the differences between fantasy and reality. Like I said, I am a pedophile, not a child molester. If anything, I wish I could help kids and keep them safe from the people who do want to do them harm, and I’ll bet that’s something you never expected to hear a pedophile say.

So, do you still think that all pedophiles are evil? I sincerely hope that after reading what I’ve had to say, you’ve changed your mind.