Member-only story
Life After My Best Friend’s Death
Navigating the Shadows of Grief
I lost my best friend at the end of 2023. I don’t remember much from those days. My brain must have decided that remembering hurt too much. But I do remember the call.
Late at night. A voice telling me something I couldn’t process. I sat there, stuck. My mind refused to turn those words into reality. I think my first thought was No, that’s impossible. Because how can someone just be gone???? One second, they’re here, texting, breathing, living. The next, they’re a past tense.
I remember the last time we spoke, I had joked, I can get someone better than you. He laughed because he knew I didn’t mean it. He knew I’d never replace him. But now, those words won’t leave me alone. I replay them in my head, over and over and over again.
I should have said something else. I should have told him I was lucky to have him. That he was one of the best things in my life. That I’d never trade our friendship for anything. But I didn’t. And now I can’t take it back….
He died because a drunk truck driver hit him. He was out getting dinner for his family. Just another night. Just another errand. And then, just like that, he was gone.
How do you grieve when it doesn’t feel real?????
