Mastering the Art of Carefree Parenting
How everyday fun shapes your child’s memories
I love hearing about my son’s day at school. As I prepare dinner, he hangs around the kitchen, narrating every detail of his day.
One day, he paused and asked, “Mama, which are the best universities in the US?”
I stopped chopping. He had my full attention.
“Harvard, Stanford, and MIT,” I replied almost instinctively, curious about where this conversation was headed. It’s not every day your child nonchalantly drops such a question.
“Why do you ask?” I prodded, my mind racing through possible reasons.
A school quiz? A visit from a Harvard alum? A school trip abroad?
My guesses were way off. My imagination still runs wild though.
My son had been part of an unexpected conversation. A few children spoke about their dream universities, job prospects, future careers, and the importance of building a stellar resume.
Such razor-sharp focus so young? Well-defined goals on what to aim for, how to prepare, and when to achieve them?
It was yet another reflection of the high expectations and pressure many children face today.
I was surprised, but not entirely shocked.
High-achieving parents or those with high aspirations, it’s hard to tell. What’s clear is they’re pushing their kids to strive higher, stay ahead of the competition, and be nothing less than perfect.
If you’re not the cream of the crop, you’ll miss out on life’s best opportunities. We live in a world that feeds this lie. The fear of being ordinary is real.
Blame, criticism, and neglect have become the norm rather than a listening ear or a comforting hug. Expensive gifts in exchange for medals and trophies, and acknowledgment when there’s another feather in your cap.
Our children should be bold, brave, and think differently. Yet, silently, we meticulously schedule their entire day, fearing they might fall behind.
We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today — Stacia Tauscher
Childhood is the most marvelous season of life, and in a moment, in the twinkling of the eye, it’s over. A carefree time my son should savor, living in the present, daring to dream of anything he wants to be. His aspirations may change along the way, and that’s perfectly okay!
I had countless dreams growing up. I didn’t achieve most of them, but I still envisioned them all! Unbound by the chains of time and space, my imagination wandered free. In this freedom, I discovered wonders galore.
Watching him build Lego masterpieces or get lost in the pages of an Enid Blyton book warms my heart. I am reminded of the simple pleasures that create our favorite childhood memories.
The innocence in how he tirelessly tries to train our dog, Rooney, to fetch the ball is precious. Rooney obliges for a while but then darts off to his favorite spot on the porch, eager for another nap before lunch.
Rooney knows he is loved. Sparkling clean right after a bath, he faithfully chases the neighborhood cat who loves to tease him, one he’ll never catch. He comes back all muddy, pawprints everywhere, and dutifully drops his head as my dad scolds him. Five minutes later, he’s snuggling with Dad.
Not an inkling of doubt, just the assurance of being loved.
Like Rooney, who loves unconditionally and finds happiness in the simplest things, children thrive when they feel loved and accepted for who they are and not for what they achieve.
In a world where comparison, loneliness, depression, and suicide are on the rise, unconditional love is the most powerful armor we can shield them with.
As parents and role models, we must create an environment where children are loved, supported, and free to explore.
While academics and career aspirations have their rightful place, the simple joys that make childhood priceless must be experienced in full measure.
Often, children are unsure if you truly love them. They have to be frequently reminded of your love.
A reminder of the simple ways you can show affection:
Listen: Without judgment, listen to what your child has to say. Offer suggestions, share anecdotes, and reminisce about old childhood memories.
Speak: Offer affirmations. Tell them you love them, that you’re proud of them, that they are perfect just the way they are. It costs you nothing and it’s true. Repeat!
Bond: Tousle their hair, envelop them in a warm bear hug for no reason, and add a sloppy kiss. Spend five minutes snuggling with them on the couch.
Play: Be a child again with them. Put your right and left foot in and shake it all about. Fire up Alexa and twirl them around. Bring out the board games, the pack of cards, and the paints.
Involve: They may be slow at household chores or may even mess them up, but let them learn in every little way they can. Their contribution does count.
Lead: Be the example they should follow. Don’t just talk; walk the talk. They are watching your every move. Let your kindness be known to them.
Smile: Let there be joy, joy, joy down in your heart. Be cheerful around them. It’s no fun to spread a bad mood, especially at home.
“Mama, I was the only one who didn’t know about those universities.” I held him close and reassured him that his homework was all that he had to look at. Everything else would happen in its perfect time.
No matter which university he chooses or where he ends up, I will always be proud of him. On his graduation day, you’ll find me in the front row, camera in hand, capturing every moment.
For now, tumbling down hills, splashing in muddy puddles, pillow fights, and devouring delicious hamburgers together are moments when I’m a kid again with him.
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