Moving from Indonesia to Singapore and the Lessons Learned Along the Way
Background
Many in the UX community in Indonesia know that I moved to Singapore due to a heartbreak, thanks to local media coverage of my story. That story is true, and while the heartbreak was quite traumatising, I’m grateful it happened as it motivated me to move to Singapore.
I was unaware of what it would be like to move overseas until I settled in Singapore. At that time, people back home praised me for landing a job in Singapore and breaking boundaries. However, securing the job was the easy part. The real challenge was adjusting to living alone in a new place. I’m writing this because I know others may consider making a similar move. It may seem exciting, but it’s also challenging to go solo. I hope this post offers a balanced perspective on living independently abroad, fostering understanding without discouraging those considering job opportunities overseas.
First Steps and Freedom
For me, the initial euphoria of moving — ‘honeymoon phase’ — was about liberation. Many people, who have the financial privilege to move to another country alone, find freedoms they don’t have at home. In my case, it was an escape from the confined care of my mom. Whether it was wearing tank tops and shorts to a hawker centre or having late-night conversations with friends without a looming curfew, each moment felt like a quiet rebellion and was incredibly freeing. The freedom to make my own decisions was an eye-opening experience. I relished this experience, though it was short-lived.
Language as a Learning Curve
The real challenge was building relationships in a place where my English was broken, and Singlish was foreign to me. Some people said I sounded like a local. This was because I made an effort and invested time to learn Singlish. From studying Singlish through books and YouTube to practicing at markets, I gradually bridged the language gap. My background in speaking Palembang, which has linguistic ties to Melayu, surprisingly eased this challenge.
“can” == “bisa”
“can also” == “bisa juga”
“can right?” == “bisa kan?”
“can is can” == “bisa sih bisa (tapi..)”
“should be can” == “mestinya sih bisa”
“I think can” == “kayaknya bisa”
I’m not saying that learning Singlish is mandatory when you move to Singapore. However, it certainly made my adaptation easier when I could communicate with locals in Singlish.
Adulting Abroad
Adjusting to life in a new country presented its unique set of challenges — from navigating government services to performing basic tasks like grocery shopping with unfamiliar vocabulary. Each obstacle emphasized the steep learning curve of settling in alone. Figuring out what to do was already difficult, but understanding how things work in another country on your own was even more challenging. I didn’t expect grocery shopping to require learning new names for vegetables, fruits, or herbs in English. For instance, how was I to know that onion, shallots, and garlic are all different types of ‘bawang’?
However, relocating to another country alone is an opportunity to demonstrate your capabilities. The initial feelings of loneliness eventually gave way to resilience and independence. This journey is marked by self-reliance, from managing household chores to accessing medical care alone. These tasks may not seem significant, but their unfamiliarity can trigger a sense of feeling lost. These challenges also pushed me to step out of my comfort zone, engage more with the world, and embrace new experiences. I discovered new ways of thinking, working, and living that enriched both my personal and professional growth.
Navigating Loneliness
It is a challenging journey filled with learning. I was handling everything on my own. The solitude hits you once the excitement of socialising wanes and you return home. I’m often exhausted and just want to sleep, but chores await; the laundry that hasn’t been done for weeks, the bathroom that needs cleaning because of the stink, or the dinner that has to be made despite an empty dining table that reminds me of home in Indonesia where everything is ready for me.
“Why is there still white space on the table? Shouldn’t it be filled with food?”
How my grand mother would judge my mother. It was her way of saying that a table brimming with dishes was a sign of a warm, welcoming home. It reflects that generous Sumatran spirit, where more food on the table means more love to go around.
When I was sick, I had to visit the doctor alone. Though I had friends who, in retrospect, would never hesitated to help, I never thought to ask. The only person I reached out to for help was my mom. She would either come herself or send someone to Singapore to take care of me.
At the time, I felt lonelier than ever before. But in retrospect, that period did not last forever. The loneliness turned out to be one of the most valuable experiences in the long run. My ex-boyfriend (now my husband) decided to find a job and move to Singapore for me. From then on, we started facing life’s challenges together.
Shifting Perspectives and Values
One of the life lessons I value the most is the shifting of my perspective. I grew up in a developing country with all the comforts I could want: a good job, quality education, great food, a protective mother, and numerous travel opportunities. When I moved to Singapore and experienced life in a developed country, it was easy to see the flaws in my home country. I questioned the lack of respect for privacy, the disorderliness, and the inefficiency.
However, interacting with diverse cultures tempered my initial judgments, fostering a deeper appreciation for my roots and the complexities of cross-cultural living. This experience taught me to appreciate what I have and to be grateful. No matter how challenging a situation may seem, it’s never as terrible as it first appears. The key is to conduct thorough research before making a decision, in order to be fully committed to your choice.
Interestingly, my values also changed with these experiences. Especially noticeable when I return to Indonesia and interact with my friends. I don’t claim to have a better perspective, just a different one. This may explain why my husband and I connect so well. We’ve always felt like outsiders in Indonesia, struggled to fit in, felt the same in Singapore, and now, even after settling here, we still feel out of place when we return home. I’m grateful we have each other. These experiences have taught us to appreciate, respect, and celebrate cultural diversity. They’ve also helped me cherish my own culture and identity, and share it with others.
Absence of Professional Experience in Home Country
Frequently, people ask me to compare working in Indonesia and Singapore. However, I lack a reference point as I don’t have prior experience working in Indonesia. Therefore, understanding the work culture in Indonesia is a new experience for me, similar to those who have never worked in Singapore. My discussions about work often involve a mix of English and Indonesian. Therefore, when giving talks, I prefer to use English entirely. This sometimes leads people to assume that I was raised in America, which is not the case.
I recently learned that severance pay in Indonesia highlights the government’s support for employees rather than employers. This is something you Indonesians should appreciate, as it’s not a compulsory practice in Singapore. The below screenshot mentions the recommended best practice, but it’s not mandatory. For those in Singapore, if you think ShopBack’s retrenchment package is generous, remember that such severance pay is legally mandatory in Indonesia.
When I joined ShopBack, I had to spend time with my Indonesian colleagues to learn the language and interact with users in Indonesian, which was challenging. I had to understand which honorific to use, how to translate the term ‘web page’ into Indonesian, among other new terminologies. When I moved to Singapore, I had spent a considerable amount of time adjusting my mindset to think in English for my work in Singapore. Now, I found myself needing to switch my thinking to Indonesian when communicating with users in Indonesia.
Embracing the Journey
Moving abroad alone has transformed my life in rewarding ways. I wouldn’t alter any of my experiences so far. If you’re contemplating a similar change, I hope this post can offer some insights.
For those unfamiliar with my situation, I was recently laid off and am in a period of adjustment. Writing has been therapeutic for me, providing a channel for expressing my thoughts and feelings. It’s also been a welcome distraction, keeping negative thoughts away.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. Currently, I’m in the funemployment phase, working on a personal project that I’m excited to share soon. I don’t feel ready to give talks again just yet, but if you’re interested in hearing more on any topic, whether it’s about UX or life in general, feel free to leave a suggestion in the comments below. 🙂
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