So Yes, I Had A Psychotic Episode And No, Not Because Of Cannabis
Good evening,
I don’t know how this will be received but here goes nothing:
Yes, you might be wondering why are you reading this. Tbh, I don’t know why I am writing (well on second thoughts, typing this). It has just dawned to me, that perhaps I should write a story about my experience of life in general. Maybe, someone might learn from it and reflect upon it instead of goggling their eyes with judgement. I will explain later… or maybe in any potential future posts.
Where shall I begin?????
OK, let me begin when I was in my early teens naive and full of youth, I would say.
There was a night, I was sleeping, not knowing much, oblivious that the next morning my destiny would change forever.
One morning, awake and refreshed.....
I heard something coming from nowhere, unknown to me and frightening because no one was in the same room as me.
Long story short, I freaked out. I thought I was possessed. I didn't know that that was the first day of a psychotic episode.
I remember researching into what these hallucinations were and coming across schizophrenia. I wanted to do more research however upon reflection was discouraged by the hallucinations.
What will happen next, will be a long series of purging out of belief I was food poisoned, buying a spy camera detector (out of thinking I was spied upon), being hospitalised, stigamised, downtrodden and ridiculed by society and my peers around me.
If only they knew.....
At the end of the day, it is not everyday you experience a psychotic episode in your teens with your GCSE’s around the corner.
Maybe those who knew, would speak less and understand more.
I even tried to commit suicide. Sometimes, I think to myself it is best I managed to do it. It would make my living less painful with how I was treated by my peers of the past.
How would they know? How could they understand? Why would they?
Anyway, bye.
I just thought I would do a blog post and see the response. I am not too sure if I am good at this thing or if I will even get a response. I don’t think I will….
😅
Oh and no, I did not go onto a stabbing rampage. This, I can testify with a holy book. Hmmm… although on second thoughts, I have heard of people lying upon the holy book so perhaps on the day of resurrection 😅.
Bye, enjoy your day… to nobody basically.
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