Why Not You?

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People Who P.U.S.H.

6 min readSep 29, 2016

I used to sit by the wayside and watch people do things I only dreamed about. Somewhere in my mind I’d developed the belief that some of these things were only possible for others and I was excluded from living a vibrant, colorful life. Somewhere in my mind, I’d resigned myself to the expectation that I would lead a hard life… that the places I wanted to go, things I wanted to experience and would only live and die in my vivid imagination.

While I was going through a really difficult time, I remember thinking “why not me?” not in a sadistic I-love-pain sort of way… but in a “who am I to be exempt from difficulty?” We’re quick to ask “why me?” when the situation’s tough but never in a hurry to ask the same when the situation’s in our favor. I moved through that place, focused on getting through the day, the months, and the years all the while those dreams lay dormant, in a coma, if you will. But then, as if all in a sudden, the tears dried up, I wasn’t looking for the light but I twirling around in it center stage. I made it through! Peace was unfamiliar but it felt good, like my most comfortable boots, good. I’d survived my greatest fears and lived to tell it!

I’d survived my greatest fears and lived to tell it!

Now what?

Well, I learned to appreciate the little things so much more. People mattered more. Relationships meant more. Food tasted better. I’d learned to love down to my toes. That’s what’s on the other end of the spectrum of deep darkness… sheer appreciation for life and love. So now, when I bite into my favorite almond pretzel from Aunt Anne’s I really taste those glazed almond pieces and savor the party in my mouth. The marriage of sweet and light saltiness is heaven to me! I’d learned to be present in the good and the bad.

…be present in the good and the bad…

After my divorce, I started taking steps to put my new life together, not back together, because what I had was past tense and this was NEW LIFE. (Get that!) My job at the time gave me the time I needed to recover from the losses — marriage, miscarriages, home and other things along the way. My little apartment was a true oasis and served me so well when I just needed time and space to heal. My circle of friends, family, and therapist encapsulated me with consolation and healing salve until I regained my sea legs. Then it was time…. time to live.

So, I jumped out of a plane the week I got divorced! No, it was not suicide by skydiving! I’d been wanting to skydive for several years. I talked and talked about it but I’d had the bad habit of hitting the pause button on life at the mere mention of stress. So I’d stopped living for a while. But let me tell you, you will find out just how alive you are when that man is strapped so closely to you, he could recall your social security number without you sharing it with him to begin with! I mean, he was close! Clooooose! Because of him, I’m here today so we thank “Mr. Skydive OC instructor Sir” for getting too close, in Jesus’ name, amen!

Fearlessness showed up that day. I began to believe that I could do anything even though doubt still likes to show up and run its mouth time and again. But hey, we’re all in process, right?

I took my first major trip to South Africa last year where I got to admire the boldness of my college buddy and her family. An opportunity presented itself to them to work abroad and so they leaped from one continent to the next. It was bold and courageous to leave life as you know it behind and just leap into something entirely foreign and new. As I stood in the middle of someone else’s dream turned reality i thought, “why not me?”

Why not me?

After that, I came back to my apartment in Maryland and picked up a prayer where I’d left off about a house I’d submitted an offer on and had rejected by the seller, only to have the seller seek me out and offer me the house on the heels of returning from South Africa. This is so important because the house was not on my list of places to see when I was house hunting. It was outside the price point I’d set, but my realtor showed it to me almost regretfully and when she protested my desire to put an offer in I heard myself say, “Why not me? Why shouldn’t this dream be mine? Why should I walk away and hand it to someone else and let them live in it? Let me at least ask, and let God tell me ‘no’.” Needless to say, I wrote this story from the comfort from said home. I’m literally living inside one of my dreams!

About six months ago I made yet another one my dreams a reality. I spent two weeks in London with a quick stint in Switzerland. This trip lived in my imagination for years before I decided to MAKE it a reality. It was everything I thought it would be and more! Having gone and returned, I can tell you this… I’m weaving new dreams and waking up others. It’s time for them to stretch past my mind and take a walk through this world.

…weaving new dreams and waking up others…

When you find out the things you fear cannot kill you, you begin to live as if for the first time. Your mind expands to places it has always known you could go. Those fears still exist, but the possibilities of what life could be start to speak a little louder and a little louder and the chances we are willing to take become a little greater and even greater, still. If we are not exempt from hardship, we’re not exempt from living out our dreams either. So why not me? Why not you?

I dare you to walk boldly through the tough places and discover the resiliency and tenacity living quietly within you. I dare you to come through those hard times and go after your dreams like there’s no tomorrow. I dare you to heal. I dare you be present. I dare you to fight for yourself. I dare you to survive it and have the nerve to thrive. I dare you.

***Here are a couple pictures from my London/Swiss trip!***

Customary red phone booth pic! 😜