Recipe for Success
All great teams, coaches, and athletes are a result of their relationships. The world of sports has transitioned into a process-based entity. Buzzwords like “the process” and “working the process” have become mainstream. Athletes believe success is waiting for them at the end of this “process” because that’s how they are coached. That’s how they are conditioned.
But the success of a team is not determined exclusively by how the players “work the process”! Athletes become great not simply because of how well they worked the process, but because of the relationships built with teammates and coaches along the way. This is the key to success, my friends.
So if “relationshipping” is the key to success, what does that look like?
Relationshipping means taking the time to get to know who people are. It means learning names. It means asking questions and then actually listening to the reply. It means not judging and making assumptions. It means knowing the person before knowing the player or teammate.
Belief.
Being able to relationship takes having belief in yourself. When you have belief in yourself, you are going to start establishing relationships instead of waiting on people to come to you. Years ago, when I was a junior high coach, on my walk to the school cafeteria for lunch, I noticed a student new to our school was standing alone against the wall. For about a week, day after day, I would see him standing in the same place on that wall. So, I finally walked over and asked him, “Bruh, why do you always just stand on the wall?” and the kid replied, “No one wants to be my friend.” I shared with him that if he chose to stay on the wall, he surely wasn’t going to make new friends because people weren’t going to come to him. Then I told him to “get off the wall!” The next week, the kid was off the wall, and over the years, he has become one of the most well-liked, outgoing in his class, even taking the lead in the school play this past year.
Invest.
Relationships are investments. Invest in those around you. Members of a team realize the investment being put into them, and, as if instinctively, they become more willing and receptive to invest back. That creates a win-win situation for everyone! Dabo Swinney, head coach of the Clemson Tigers, has created a culture unmatched, not because of the wins, but because of the relationships that have been built in his team. Through the investment in each individual member of the team, Dabo has stated that as a result of this investment, his program is full of “great players who have bought into who we are, what we do, and how we do it,”
Relationships are the foundation for Clemson’s success. — Dabo Swinney
The easiest way to accomplish this is to love your teammates. The way you do that is you believe in them, you serve them, and you celebrate them. Not sometimes, but all the times.
Communicate.
Communication can be in the form of encouraging players, holding teammates accountable, and being intentional about communicating each person’s worth and value to the team. Communication is talking, but listening is equally important. Maybe this is the reason humans have two ears and only one mouth. Relationships will only be built if communication is a two-way street.
Through my experiences playing and coaching on teams, relationships have not broken down because of over-communication, but they have deteriorated due to a lack of communication. Be the person on your team who not only talks, but also be the one who listens intentionally to your coaches and teammates, and the depth of your relationships will grow to a new level.
At the end of the day, no amount of training, clinics, or camps can make more of a difference than the impact that building genuine relationships with your coaches and teammates can have on your team. When you think back to past experiences and teams you were a part of, what do you remember? No one remembers the size of the State trophy or the dropped ball, but I can guarantee that they do remember the relationships developed. Some may have even lasted a lifetime.
The great John Wooden said, “I worry that business leaders are more interested in material gain than they are in having the patience to build up a strong organization, and a strong organization starts with caring for their people.”
Go be intentional.
Get off the wall!
