I’ve been experimenting with embodiment practices.
By pausing to feel into the body, we tap into our sixth sense of intuition. It requires us to take things slowly and allows us to make more informed decisions. Sometimes we make decisions in a moment that lead to future regret.
Whenever I’m nervous now, I feel more deeply into that moment.
Right now I feel like I have a writer’s block. I thought it’d never happen to me. I remember thinking that exact thing one day. With all the ideas I had to write about at the time, “I should never run out of things,” I though.
It isn’t really that I’ve run out of things to write about, its that I’ve got a mental block. Probably has to do with the Solar Eclipse coming up Saturday. I’ve managed to schedule myself in a way that will make it just difficult enough for me to pull off everything I’m trying to get done. I’ll manage, in fact, its going to be really fucking awesome, but instead of being happy, I’m choosing to be anxious. I find that interesting. Despite knowing I have control over each moment, I still allow my anxiety to disrupt my ability to journal freely.
My senses of smell, taste, sight, hearing, and touch are useless in this predicament, but my gut feeling is giving me a direction. Its telling me that I can be gentle with myself. I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me, nor do I need any validation that I can do this. I just need to sit and feel into it. Feel into what is giving me anxiety, that way I can circumvent those worries if needed. But its also important to allow myself to let some things go and feel into the moment now and each moment when the time comes.
There’s a sharp piercing pain in my abdomen. It’s about halfway between my sternum and naval. When I began to observe it, it began to subside. I relieved tension in my back by twisting to pop my spine. I’m feeling relaxed now and realizing I’m just at home. I’m by myself and safe in my body. I’m content because there was one last swig of coffee in my cup when I just checked it. The satisfaction of one lingering gulp has elevated my experience.
My Observer seems to be from a new level. That is to say, the Mindset from which I observe myself is different from that which I used to embody. There’s a desire to be expansive but also pragmatic. I feel like some of those wounds that were holding me back have now been granted permission to heal. In acknowledging them, I set them free. Now they have cleared the way for new demons to step forth and teach me what I need to reach a greater sense of happiness. If all of my demons are tended to, well… lets be real, there will just be more demons, but I’ll at least have a few more tools in my belt.
Originally written in Collective Journaling at The Stoa