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Power to Lose

While contemplating Roe v Wade being overturned, my reflection is: everybody seems to think life is fair.

Photo by Jr Korpa on Unsplash

It surprises me that so few people seem to realize that it just isn’t. I didn’t want to touch this topic with a wooden stick, but the conversation pervades the collective thought realm today. There are people that don’t have water on a daily basis. There are people locked inside concentration camps in China… today. This is not a round of comparing trauma, this is a reminder that any of us could’ve been born into those circumstances. Life is learning how to suffer, gracefully. That’s a given. All the suffering we endure coming from the original existential crisis of “Why was I put here to die?” Of course, when we put it that way it sounds brutal, but the truth is: we all die.

I’m sure some might try to guess what my stance is on the ruling based on the above paragraph. I don’t think I actually have one. That very fact will make a lot of people quite angry with me. I can already sense that feeling of being despised for not having a strict opinion about a topic regarding rights. I’ve mentioned before, I’m able to hold two truths in my mind at once. Personally, I’ve never had an abortion. I’ve used Pennyroyal Oil to bring on a late period before when I was working in a health food store. I can see this debate through the lens of my dad, who could’ve been aborted if my Granny had not overheard a conversation about a woman in a pregnancy, out of wedlock. Instead, he was traded like a fantasy football player card in the hospital at birth (which I wrote a little about in here). You might be surprised to find out, that even with that being said, my dad’s opinion on abortion is not as hard-line as one might imagine from a conservative man. My mother is Catholic, and desperately believes there is a reason for everything that happens in life, but can still recognize that some forms of suffering might be too much for people, emotionally. God does not give us anything we cannot handle and sometimes that is making a decision that we have to live with for the rest of our lives.

The stereotypes about who is on what side invade our mind and make people hate. I can be be empathetic in both scenarios that seem to be on the opposite ends of an arbitrary spectrum that has been identified to keep us fighting with one another as a collective. “But what about *-insert extreme example of horrendous circumstances-*”. I get it. That part cannot be made more clear to me. I’m all for considering each situation on a case by case basis, but with all the administrative hands that have to touch things, it wouldn’t be done in a timely fashion. We need to update our court rooms and streamline our hospital systems for that to even be a possibility. Both of those sectors seem to be terribly far behind on processing paperwork. It was mentioned in one of my circles that (evolutionarily speaking) women have more of an investment into the child. This is a biological fact that an egg invests more than sperm. Sperm are cheap, while eggs take a lot of energy to create. So when we reduce this equation to the science, a woman could argue that she has more skin in the game; its a valid argument. Then there is this question of “when does life begin?”. Some say conception, some say at birth, and others will name anywhere in between. “Life began 3.7 billion years ago”, “life begins every morning when you wake up”. We haven’t even defined what life is, which makes this question impossible to answer.

It might seem like I’m splitting hairs, but there are more interesting questions beneath this debate. There is a real danger in thinking the world is supposed to be fair. Honestly, it makes us less resilient when we require perfect conditions. The greatest stories are those in which we overcome obstacles. Instead of channeling this agonizing fear into hatred towards other groups with differing opinions, we need to process the fear. We need connection with Spirit. We need connection with Self. I don’t mean as the individual, I’m speaking of a greater, understanding, comforting Self. Otherwise those feelings bubble in the emotional cauldron. We need to lift the lid on the boiling pot of human experience so that it can leave in a cloud of steam. The pressure is building and I’m afraid the water will boil over before enough of us have time to process our mental states. I think worse than the actual overturning of the ruling is the fact that this event is now in the collective space. A portion of the population believes their rights have been infringed upon, and another portion believes those people are correct in this assessment and that this is a good thing.

Today I pulled the Ten of Wands, which depicts a man walking with ten tall sticks towards a city. He hugs them awkwardly carrying them in a way that blocks him from being able to see the road ahead. Perhaps he’s so exhausted, this is all he can do to keep the sticks together and continue moving. It looks like he is just powering through it.


I asked Spirit for a card to go with my journal today. This is the message I intuitively found in the symbolism:

It is within our struggles that our lives take on meaning. Humans are powerful in their resilience. I believe Spirit is telling me that at the end of our hardships we find something beautiful, if we trust that we are being led by intuition. I am being guided to focus on the fact that this man is not looking where he is going. He trusts that he will arrive soon. He does not toss the sticks to the side in frustration for not having already made it to his destination.

I will leave that open for you (the reader) to decide what that might mean.



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