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Waste Management

We all know now how susceptible humans are to having their minds completely highjacked. We’ve seen countless examples throughout history and in our current era.


But there is a way to hack this system and gain back some sovereignty. Its by paying close attention to the things we consume, including our mental intake. I’ve failed to find a way to say this in which I portray the level of importance I stress when making this point. I do have a tangible example I’ve thought up this morning. It’s not something I’m meant to resolve just a hang up in my mental space that needs to be addressed.

My interpersonal relationships reflect parts of me to myself. When I feed myself a program I’ve associated with the behavior of a person, I lock into a previous encounter. For instance, “Grandpa annoys the ever-loving fuck out of me”. Well why’s that? In this moment Grandpa is, again, annoying the ever-loving fuck out of me, all because I recalled the moment when I came up with this rule, which was probably him at his worst. We do this a lot.

A lot of us have issues we haven’t resolved from childhood that run on this same algorithm; old programs that haven’t been updated since the 80s or 90s. Collectively, we even have some things that we can’t talk about. Only recently was it acceptable to question the narrative of nine eleven… I even felt weird about typing 9/11. These unspoken rules of social appropriateness influence the way we carry ourselves and the self-talk we engage in.

Childhood is an early part of our lives that we remember relatively little from. However, its safe to assume that the thought cycles we got stuck in still had an affect on subsequent actions we took in life. What we do end up remembering is the best and worst moments and from that information we build out our mental maps. From this material of open space and imagination, the world begins to take shape in our mind based on the way we interact with it.

Now for the example I mentioned earlier, the divorce of parents is a real brain fuck, especially for a kid. I understand there are children with just one parent, and those that were adopted and those are all separate issues of sacrifice and worthiness. The divorcing of parents is a masculine/feminine split. It dichotomizes the love department of the mind.

For me, I can assign which parts of my masculine and which parts of my feminine energy were wounded. It takes a lot of digging, but from both of my parents I can see the feminine side feels ignored. That isn’t to say my dad ignored my mom, even though he did and it actually is. Its also that my dad was very hidden with his talent aka his feminine side. He played guitar alone in his shop and despite being very talented with art in general, he hid this side of himself. As a kid, I remember this being the unspoken rule that dad wasn’t just going to grab the guitar and start playing. My childhood brain applied this relationship to everything masculine and feminine. Okay, that isn’t something we should be open about. That being the feminine side.

It would be easy to blame my parents for not being perfect humans, but its not helpful or realistic. If one is supposed to understand how to love they must be able to hold two truths at once, in these instances. We must understand how to love our mother and father separate and cannot learn from the example of them. If we are to love one another, we have to stop seeing ourselves as separate. The child is a coin made of the two sides. If the child is to ever know love, they must not be separate from love. Also, their love must not be separate.

Its not even easy for an adult to recognize and reconcile this mental hang up. It took me a year of close interaction with my parents as an adult on a daily basis, and some deep, intense contemplation on philosophy and my childhood. I am certain there are other ways to come about this realization more naturally and less logically. Children are open to receiving from the world to experiment with different iterations of experience. Adults become locked into the realm of overthinking. We have so many thoughts accumulated, which leads us to performing certain actions completely out of habit. Sometimes we don’t even notice.

I think that meditation is the slowest way to learn lessons of life, but it is also a way to process the garbage that builds up as we age. Its much better to get out and practice being, but still very important to sit with the Self. Just as one would not remain sane without some form of companionship, we should also be aware of the value of alone time.



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