How to Deal with Difficult People:

Simple Steps to Keep Your Cool 😎.

Nuru Mughenyi.
personal growth and self-improvement.
3 min readMay 27, 2024

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Dealing with difficult people is a common challenge in everyday life. Whether it’s in the workplace, at home, or during social gatherings, we often encounter individuals who are hard to get along with.

But who exactly are these "difficult" people?

Typically, they are those who exhibit behavior that is considered unreasonable, stubborn, dominating, or overly critical, making interactions challenging and stressful.

Here’s my personal guide on how to handle these tough situations with grace and maintain your peace of mind.

Stay Calm

My first rule is always to remain calm, no matter how tense the situation gets. When I feel overwhelmed, I take a deep breath or count to ten—anything to prevent a knee-jerk reaction. It’s amazing how much this simple step helps in keeping interactions constructive.

Listen Carefully

I’ve noticed that when people act out, it’s often because they feel overlooked or misunderstood. I make it a point to listen not just to their words, but to try and understand the emotions behind them. This empathy can often turn a confrontational situation into a dialogue.

Use Clear Communication

When I respond, I use clear and straightforward language. Here’s something I might say:

"I see you’re upset. I feel stressed when voices are raised. Can we try to talk this out calmly?"

This way, I set the tone for a respectful conversation.

Set Boundaries

It’s essential to let people know your limits. I calmly state what behaviors are not okay with me.

For instance,

"I’m willing to discuss this as long as we can remain respectful." Setting these boundaries upfront prevents a lot of misunderstandings.

Don’t Take It Personally

This was a hard one for me to learn, but now I understand that the negative behavior of others often reflects their struggles, not mine. Keeping this in mind helps me not to take things to heart, which is liberating and reduces unnecessary stress.

Choose Your Battles

Not every issue deserves a showdown. I’ve learned to assess which situations are worth my energy. This doesn’t mean I let important things slide, but I don’t sweat the small stuff.

Seek Help If Needed

When it all gets too much, reaching out for support has been my lifeline. Talking things over with a friend or a counselor can offer new perspectives and solutions I might not have considered on my own.

Now let’s talk

What strategies have you found effective in dealing with difficult people? Have you tried any of the approaches I mentioned, or do you have different methods? I’d love to hear your stories and tips, so please share them in the comments below!

Managing difficult interactions is more art than science, but with these strategies, you can protect your mental health and turn challenging encounters into opportunities for growth. Remember, every interaction is a chance to practice patience, empathy, and assertiveness.

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Nuru Mughenyi.
personal growth and self-improvement.

Public Health Specialist | Gender and Community Development Expert | Human Rights Activist| Writer.