The School of Taoism Says: To Be the Best, You Must Be Still
In stillness comes the clarity to act.
The fight was over. I had lost. Which is good — it was my fault in the first place. I was caught up in ideals. Of what constitutes a good relationship, a good marriage. I was measuring myself against the stereotypes of sitcom couples. Of fairy tale ever-afters. And I was struggling to compete.
Fortunately, I had help in the matter. Well, actually, I had an adversary who was doing a great job bringing me back to reality.
My wife stood across from me. Arms folded, she reminded me of something I already knew but somehow seemed to forget: what is true for other couples is not always true for us. To compare our relationship against someone else’s is to do a disservice to ours. We do what works for us, because it works for us, not because some magazine or movie says we should.
Oh, how easy it is to fall into the trap of comparison!
I get these ideas running through my head. Ideas of what makes up the ideal archetype — the brave warrior, the hustling entrepreneur, the zen yogi. But these ideals are just stereotypes. They aren’t reality. They are only portrayed in movies and shows because they make such fascinating, one-sided characters.
