2018: My year of monthly love projects

I’ve always felt deeply drawn to New Years Resolutions. I’m a sucker for that “clean slate” feeling, and with my birthday kicking off the year on January 1, it feels like a further amplified opportunity for a new beginning.

But everyone knows that traditional resolutions — vague and ungrounded statements like “go to the gym more” — rarely last or produce any meaningful change. As someone who relishes structure and organization, I prefer to treat resolutions with a bit more thought and care.

As I considered possible resolutions for this year, I thought about what 2017 was missing for me, and the answer was clear:

I don’t feel like I’m adequately living out my values.

I’m a very values-centric person (INFJ, hollaaa), and I’ve thought extensively about what my strongest values are. I value authenticity. I value expression. I value empathy. I value adventure.

But most of all, as cliché as it sounds, I value love. In all its forms. Love for self, love for others, romantic love, family love, agapé brotherly love.

Some of you may recall that I spent 2015 doing a series of month-long experiments, in which I’d try out a lifestyle change with strict guidelines for a month, in an effort to decide whether I’d like to incorporate it more fluidly and permanently into my life. The projects spanned lots of random ideas I wanted to explore, from trying out veganism, to taking cold showers, to being “radically honest” every day in every interaction.

Those 2015 projects felt awesome. It felt so good to spend a full year guided by a structure intended to foster my own growth; by the end of the year, I had done so much, and it made the year feel so full, so well-spent.

So this time, I’m conducting another year of projects, but this year I’m focusing it a bit more around a central theme. This year, my monthly projects will all support the theme of love, in an effort to train myself to live more directly aligned with my own primary value.

I’ve decided to alternate my 2018 projects between three sub-themes:

1. Love for self

Why “love for self”? If there’s anything I’ve realized this past year, it’s that self-love is the basis for all other love. I can only share what I’ve already cultivated. Self-love builds a sense of self-worth, which is the foundation for fulfilling all of my desires. Learning to love myself is an endlessly important endeavor, and it deserves at least four months of my year.

2. Love for others

Why “love for others”? Because we’re all mirrors for each other. The more I learn to see strangers as brothers and sisters and extend grace and love to them, the more I can extend it to myself and to the specific people I care about in my life. New York City is the perfect playground for this, “Others” refers to anyone and anything outside of myself.

3. Miscellaneous

There are several projects I want to experiment with this year, more along the lines of the random projects I did in 2015, and I want to make space for those as well. After all, making those kinds of lifestyle changes are conducive to health and happiness, which better allow me to love wholeheartedly.

2018 Project Love Schedule*

January: [[self]] — Seeing my attention as a gift

• Treat each and every interaction I have as an experiment in recognizing my own worthiness, the gift of my presence
• Flirt with at least one stranger every day

February: [[others]] — Love notes to the city

• Leave a short encouraging note or love letter every day around the city — in library books, on subway seats, given directly to particular strangers that strike my fancy, etc.

March: [[misc]] — Cutting out dairy

• Cut dairy entirely out of my life (including in baked goods)
• Track how I feel every morning, afternoon, and evening, to see whether I feel better.

April: [[self]] — Body Love

• Apply coconut oil to my entire body every evening in front of my mirror
• Ensure I feel “embodied” every day, most often by dancing when I wake up
• Post something lovingly body-centric to social media each day (including dancing videos)
• Work through my own sexual trauma and train my body to feel safe again through loving touch

May: [[others]] — Fostering love for individual strangers and friends

• Voice authentic compliments to strangers and friends every single time I think of one (even if it seems awkward)
• Practice seeing every human I pass as their mother sees them

June: [[misc]] — Wim Hof Method

• Research the methods
• Take freezing cold showers every day, following my original 2015 schedule (increasing the length of the showers each week)
• Practice Wim Hof’s breathing techniques
• Track how I feel every day, both directly after the shower and breathing techniques, and later in the evening

July: [[self]] — Bragging & Affirmations

• Create a new affirmation for each week; speak it first thing in the morning to myself in the mirror, strive to live all day with that affirmation in mind
• Make a weekly piece of art with the affirmation; post it on social media, and hang it in my cubicle
• Brag freely about the things I’m proud of about myself, any time such a thought arises

August: [[others]] — Extreme Gratitude

• Upon waking up, list five things I’m immediately grateful for
• Keep a gratitude journal all month, and every day add at least five new things
• Write a gratitude-centered poem and perform it
• Practice trust that my life is perfect the way it is, that everything is happening in divine timing for the advancement of my soul

September: [[misc]] — Kicking the Sugar Dependence

• Cut out *all* non-natural sugars (no candy, baked goods, etc.)
• Limit honey and dried fruit intake
• (Possibly follow someone else’s established regimen for this)

October: [[self]] —The Art of Asking

• List my desires & intentions for the day every morning immediately upon waking up
• Focus this month exclusively on meditations centered around visualizing my desires
• Ask for everything I want, to anyone I want things from, and feel through the rejection when it occurs. Accustom myself to it, so it’s no longer scary

November: [[others]] — Radical Generosity

• Give money (or food) to every single homeless person I encounter in the city (on the street, on trains, etc.)
• Give money to every single street performer I encounter in the city
• Have conversations with these people when possible

December: [[misc]] — Creative Writing Month

• Complete a creative writing prompt every single day (more details to come)

*subject to change based on my whims and desires from month to month.

Wish me luck! I’ll be blogging publicly about the takeaways from some of these experiments, but not all of them. If any of you are thinking of doing a similar year of projects, or want to join me for any of my months, comment, and I’d love to follow your journey as well!

All the best to all of you in the sparkling new year! I can already feel it — it’s going to be a year chock-full of change and growth.

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