7 Core Traits of Authentic People

#4. They apply Kintsukuroi to their life.

Sira M.
Sira M.
Jan 22 · 7 min read
Image for post
Image for post
Image: iStock

1. Authentic People Don’t Seek External Validation

Most of us are concerned with what others think of us, our actions, and our behaviors. As such, we manipulate or disguise our personality traits to seek approval or to avoid disapproval. This masks our true or authentic self.

Authentic people are who they are. They know that some people will like them, and some won’t. And they’re OK with that.

How to apply this, in a nutshell:

Most people focus on themselves, on how they look, and how they’re perceived; they don’t have the time and energy to think much about you. So, don’t waste too much energy worrying about what others think of you, as most of the time, they’re not actually thinking of you or about you.

2. They Tell You the Truth, Even When It May Hurt

Years ago, Diana, who I considered my best friend, tried to pit Luana — another good friend of mine — and me against each other. She told Luana I was talking behind her back and invented stories to destroy our friendship.

How to apply this habit, in a nutshell:

Simple. Be honest with yourself and with others. Make it a number-one priority.

3. They Are Emotionally Agile

Authentic people have a healthy relationship with their emotions, and they have control over them.

How to apply this, in a nutshell:

According to an article published in Harvard Business Review, to develop emotional agility, first of all, you have to recognize your patterns of behavior — ask yourself how you react in certain situations and what emotions you feel in those situations.

4. They Apply Kintsukuroi to Their Life

The translation of the Japanese word Kintsukuroi is “to mend with gold.” Kintsukuroi — or Kintsugi — as I explained in an article published in The Ascent, is the ancient Japanese art of repairing broken pottery using lacquer infused with powdered gold, which has the totally opposite effect of an invisible mend.

How to apply this, in a nutshell:

See yourself as a Kintsugi pottery piece. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and see them as life lessons. Accept your defects and see them as what makes you unique. Accept, embrace and be your most authentic self.

5. They Are Open to Learning from Their Mistakes

As they forgive themselves for their past mistakes, as Stephen Joseph Ph.D. mentioned, authentic people also have the habit of learning from their mistakes. They are open to challenging their view on who they are, and they see past setbacks and failures as opportunities to learn and grow, always.

The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake — you can’t learn anything from being perfect.

How to apply this, in a nutshell:

Always turn your mistakes into valuable life lessons. Think of the reasons why you don’t want to make those mistakes again, as it will help you avoid repeating them. Most importantly, analyze each mistake and think of all the things you learned from it.

6. They Are Emotionally Independent

According to an article published in Psychology Today, emotional independence is a type of inner resilience that lets you know you can meet, solve, and be comfortable with any circumstance you face.

How to apply this, in a nutshell:

Rely only on yourself to be happy. Find your passion, your life purpose, and make it your top priority. This will help give you a life you love. When you live the life you love, happiness comes from inside, and you won’t seek it from others.

7. They Laugh at Themselves

Years ago, I was working in a small customer service department. Our boss was always playfully making fun — in a respectful way — of one of our colleagues, Katia, as she was a bit clumsy. Every time he said something about her, she would laugh herself to tears rather than take it personally and let it undermine or upset her. Guess what? She was one of the most respected people on the team.

How to apply this, in a nutshell:

Be less self-conscious. Laugh at your mistakes. Laugh when you fall. Laugh when you stutter. Don’t feel too embarrassed when you spill your drink on yourself; these things happen to everyone. When you let go of what others may think of you, you automatically become more confident.

Personal Growth

Sharing our ideas and experiences.

Thanks to Li Charmaine Anne, Anangsha Alammyan, and Itxy Lopez

Sira M.

Written by

Sira M.

Writer | Coach | Proud Amazonian | If you are ready to transform your life, subscribe to my newsletter: newsletter.thetrulycharming.com

Personal Growth

Sharing our ideas and experiences.

Sira M.

Written by

Sira M.

Writer | Coach | Proud Amazonian | If you are ready to transform your life, subscribe to my newsletter: newsletter.thetrulycharming.com

Personal Growth

Sharing our ideas and experiences.

Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore

If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home. It’s easy and free to post your thinking on any topic. Write on Medium

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store