Being A Miracle

Because waiting for one is not enough.

I know limbo well, the period between the dream and its realisation, the space between wanting and having. I am familiar with the killer suspense. Throughout the wait, till the last chip of hope becomes dust, expectations remain alive:

“It could be today.”

“Maybe tomorrow.”

Giving up hardly happens at once. It takes one disappointment after another to get there, and you dare not give up before there’s nothing left to hang on to.

But sometimes, maybe even too often, hope does not reel anything in and patience is for nothing. No one shows up to save you. You drown and your bare bones mock you for expecting a lifeline.

It’s on you.

(Often enough to be a truth,) the miracle is not some kind of divine intervention, it is you getting up to do what you can for yourself with what you have. No bright lights in the sky, no caped hero swooping in to save the day, no silver-lined cloud in the gray, just a person with a will to find a way.

It is a strange twist, the seed of salvation is more often in the one who needs saving than it is elsewhere.

So call me jaded or cynical but I have stopped waiting for a miracle and started trying to be one. First for myself (because I cannot help anyone if I cannot help myself), then for other people.

I can be my own deliverance and you can be yours.

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