Dark Lessons of Life Learnt in my 20's

During one of those intense conversations with my close friend she remarked — “You know what your problem is? You think you are good, you do good to people and good will happen to you. You are wrong. That’s not how life is and you need to come out of your own idea of life.” That was a bit of eye opener. I knew that life is not fair and all that stuff but it was the first time I realized this fact closely. I started observing things a bit more carefully.

This is going to be dark and bad and if you are still living in your self created utopia then please don’t go ahead.

Your success in corporate life will depend a lot more on presentation and the way you showcase your work than the actual work itself.

• Your success in corporate life will depend a lot more on presentation and the way you showcase your work than the actual work itself. There are thousands of people doing almost the same work. What makes you stand apart? What more can you bring on plate which is already filled with diverse delicacies?
• You only control your personal growth and nothing else. Your career growth in any organization depends on a lot of factors like - the people above you, how willing they are to fight for you and how ready they are to support you. Luck, budget, timing and a lot of things play their role along with your hard work and sincerity.
• Work hard for your inner satisfaction, learn stuff for your personal growth, love someone to respect your feelings and be honest to respect that love. Expecting anything beyond that is a waste. A lot of things in life are not give and take. You cannot expect others to reciprocate your feelings or think like you do. People will cheat, be dishonest, hearts will break, good work will get unnoticed and you cannot help it.
• You might feel a void in your life. Till now it were exams, preparation to get a job that kept you busy but now you have your dream job, a good salary and probably everything you wanted. What’s next ? Of course studying more and switching job with a higher salary is an option but what after that ? Will the entire life revolve around this struggle, switch and hops?
• Your close friend circle will shrink rapidly. The innocence and freedom of college days will not be there. People will start thinking about their own lives, future and relationships and it’s time you start to figure out your own path which should be independent from others’ choices. It’s innate nature in all species to grow and move ahead. People who are part of your pack will start to venture out to find their own mate and destiny. Friends will be busy with their career paths, higher education or investing time in their relationship. Learn to live with it.

You’ll be judged all the time even for things that you don’t control.

• You’ll be judged all the time even for things that you don’t control. How you look, how tall you are, how fat you are, money, complexion and muscularity. All those moral science lessons of school about good heart, honesty would seem to be forgotten. Ignore and move ahead. Don’t let anyone get into your head. Do what’s healthy for your body and nothing else.
• Being good, nice and helpful beyond limits might make people respect you but might not earn you friendship. Worst case people may remember you only during their bad times or when they need help but will have a totally different group for fun and enjoyment. Don’t be that guy or girl. Be in the core, be the alpha. Know your limits and don’t help after a certain extent. People will take you for granted.
• Your smartness, intelligence, knowledge may not help you at all in winning close friends. People in general have been receiving a lot of advice all the time and doing all that serious stuff during their office hours. They want people to laugh with, cry with, share jokes and do stupid stuff. Lower your IQ a bit for sometime and talk things that don’t make sense and do stuff that will surprise you. I have seen successful people eating lunch alone and total newbies killing the cafeteria with their voices.
• By this time you would have experienced personally or at least read about girls falling for bad boys. It’s mostly because so called bad boys give them a ticket out of their boring monotonous lives. Those so called bad boys are unpredictable, a challenge, a sense of insecurity, a kick of adventure. This is a long topic in itself that I might pen it down later. In short if you are good, nice, honest, intelligent but meek, timid and boring; good luck mate you may get nothing.
• Your concepts about true love will shape, reshape over and over again because it’s not something one can learn through books. You have to fall in love to experience it and get your heart broken to achieve maturity. Often what people confuse with love is a manifestation of their incapability and fear of not getting anyone.

True love is rarest of all and if you get it don’t let it go at any cost.

• The person who cares more, thinks more in a relationship feels the greater pain. Unlike other scenarios the less caring and serious one is comparatively happier. Try to bring “ME” before “WE”. Don’t lose your identity.

In short, rules are continuously bent, truth is stretched too far and hearts are broken. Life is made of good and bad parts. Learn to live, adjust and enjoy the moment. A lot can be achieved later but the beauty of moment once gone can never be relived. I have delayed lots of fun opportunities for better times. Now I have that time with me but unfortunately the people with whom I wanted to share those moments are not there. I’m still learning and still exploring.

“Life goes on, whether you choose to move on and take chances in the unknown, or stay behind locked in the past, thinking what could have been.”