Dear Perfect People

Having lived in China for five years, I saw my fair share of “strange” behaviors, customs and attitudes. I moved there with a determination to keep an open mind and embrace the experience without judgement.

I often failed.

An old lady allowing her toddler to shit on the sidewalk right outside my building door. Anger on. Potty mouth in full gear. F**k this place. F**k this ignorance. F**k this filth…. F-bombs galore.

Pause.

I chose to move here.

Pause.

I should leave if I don’t like it.

Pause.

I am an asshole.

Two weeks later, the same old lady chases me with the coffee tumbler that fell out of my bag as I rode away on my scooter.

F**k me.

I am an asshole.

This old lady probably remembers the famine. This old lady has probably seen more hardship than I can imagine. This old lady can probably teach me a thing or two about life.

I want to learn.

Fast forward to now. I’m back home in Jordan. Holy shit! What is going on here? In the few months I’ve been back I have heard more gossip, judgement and condescension than in my entire five years away.

We walk around self absorbed in our own tiny fragment of reality. The confines of our own perceptions wrapped up in the little details that don’t really matter. We feel the struggles and pains of daily life. We are at a loss when things aren’t going right and blindly ecstatic when they are. We involve our minds and tongues in forgettable conversations, read tiny soundbites on social media that deplete us and feel helpless and useless when we witness tragedy on the big screen. We despise those who disagree with us and love the ones who align with our biases. We’re bound by the notion that who we are is fixed.

We don’t pay attention. We don’t notice. We don’t look. We don’t see. We’re happy enough in the confines of our limits. We revel in our perceived superiority when criticizing others. We dismiss people for being different. We reject the entirety of a person for disliking an aspect of the complex them. We brush off entire ideologies without looking for elements we might like.

We have got to do better than that.

I am tired of hearing criticisms and judgments. I am tired of condescending attitudes, useless gossip, complaints with no action, projection without any reflection and people playing victim as if they live blameless. I am sick of unpleasant words, discouraging put downs and dismissals. I’m over those trying to climb the moral high horse on the backs of others. I can’t witness anymore people fill their empty lives by concerning themselves with the lives of others.

This is simply not good enough. We have got to do better.

Seven billion people on Earth. Seven billion ways to live. And if there is one trait none of us can escape from, it is that we are all flawed. Our makeup predestines us to being fuck ups at the core.

How about we remember that daily? How about beginning with the humility it mandates?

This is an offer of one more perception. To notice. To look. To see. To question. To learn.

Start every day with thankfulness and a questioning mind.

Embrace the commitment to growth.

Learn from someone who made you smile and try to repeat it.

Learn from experiencing injustice and choose to never inflict it.

Learn from your worst moments and forgive others when they are having theirs.

Learn from how others live. Embrace what you admire. Try to understand the parts you don’t.

Learn. Don’t judge.

Learn instead of dwelling.

Learn that your energy is better directed at yourself than on judging others.

Learn instead of getting angry.

Just f**king learn to do better.

P.S. At least no one is shitting on your doorstep.