Don’t Settle For More: The Timeless Virtue of Simplicity for a Successful Life
More — it’s what we’re sold. Our programming to have more, do more and be more is the job of the advertising industry. It’s their responsibility to make us belief that we cannot be happy without the things they offer. But how many times have we gotten what we fantasized about, only to manufacture another desire? We’ve all experienced this endless cycle of grasping only to be left starved for the next pursuit, possession or project. It’s time to change the message: Don’t settle for more. Instead, embody the timeless virtue of simplicity for a successful life.
We have ancient wisdom and modern science that tells us that this way of life — endlessly pursuing more of everything — is not only unsustainable, but a massive distraction to our lives.
Regardless of your purpose, simplicity is critical to your personal effectiveness.
For example, Moses left Egypt to live as a sheepherder in order to bring the Israelites out of bondage. Arjuna was instructed to turn away from materialism in order to travel the path of truth. The Buddha left his life as a prince to live the ascetic life. Gandhi passed away with less then ten belongings. John the Baptist lived in the wild eating only locusts and honey.
These might sound like extreme examples, but we can learn from these sages of simplicity, considering what the numbers tell us about what our lives are like today.
- 3 in 5 (61%) people are burned out at their current job.
- Research shows that the clutter culture of the west is causing anxiety for both parents and their children.
- We receive more information on a daily basis than the average person born in 1900 did in a lifetime.
The upside to all this?
We can lean into simplicity defined by our own lifestyle (we don’t need to be a monastic in order to live simply and effectively) in order to dial in our focus, master our energy and level up our personal effectiveness.
This past week, I was reminded of the endless invitation of living a life of simplicity. I had returned from a week-long trip from an Airbnb property that was masterfully curated. The home had great taste and had nothing but the essentials. It caused me to look at my home (and life) in a refreshed way. I noticed that several areas had bloated and it was time to prune them in order to get back to the essentials, to be focused, to be effective, to go deep in the areas of life I’ve said yes to.
The fridge was overstuffed. Why do I have more pairs of shoes than I need? My eight month old son somehow has more toys than he can play with. I’d shown interest in a project that I wasn’t capable of taking on to a business partner. I call this “excess creep.” It happens gradually and without fanfare.
What follows are thinking systems that help deal with and prevent excess creep to prune down my possessions, pursuits and projects in order to master my energy and stay focused on my personal mission.
Urge Surf: The 222 System
Urge surfing is a coping method developed by Alan Marlatt.
The method can be summed up as such: Notice the urge to act. Then watch it like a cloud in the sky. Recognize where the urge peaks in your body and then let it subside like a tide.
Essentially, the urge surf method encourages us to ride the wave of the desire mentally without physically acting up upon it.
I use the surf method and extend to situational circumstances by using what I call the 222 system.
For short range decisions — buying a book, going out to eat, watching the NBA playoffs, etc. — I try to give it 2 minutes before I act on it.
For medium range decisions — taking on a new copywriting client, attending an online workshop, committing to a weekly lunch with a friend, etc. — I try to give it 2 weeks before I act on it.
For large range decisions — moving to another state, pivoting careers, buying a vehicle, etc. — I try to give it 2 months before I act on it.
Providing a buffer of two minutes, two weeks or two months to let the urge peak and possibly subside, gives me room to think and decide deliberately instead of reacting, or worse, panicking.
Do I always follow the 222 system? Of course not. I’m human like you. But I do my best to leverage it when I can. You can do the same.
Use Constraints: Protect Your Energy
Have a start up ritual
I don’t schedule anything from 5 A.M to 8 A.M. other than what Leo Bebauta calls MIT’s or Most Important Tasks. During these three hours my door is closed and my wife knows not to come in unless it’s an emergency. My phone is left in the kitchen so I’m not tempted to task switch since it requires about 23 minutes to get back on task.
This is by design. Years ago, I learned that our ability to focus on mentally and emotionally complex work is about three or four hours per day.
This is my start up ritual each day — it begins with three intense hours of deep work. The rest of the day is dedicated to administrative, reactive and low-complex thinking.
With such a tight window of focused time each day, I can only do what is essential.
Have a shut down ritual
Sleep makes everything else better — work, exercise, sex and creativity. This is why I’m fanatical about my nightly routine because I really enjoy work, exercise, sex and being creative.
I have a hard shut-down time at 7 P.M. All electronics are docked to preserve natural melatonin production. I take a hot shower to induce a rapid cool down to help my body think it’s night time. Then, I brew a cup of tea that is a blend of chamomile, Tulsi and Valerian root for its natural sedative qualities. I drink this on the porch while watching the sun go down.
I’m asleep — not in bed — by 9 P.M. everyday, including the weekends. This is the only way I can get up between 4 and 4:30 A.M., and not feel like a gaunt bag of bones.
By having these constraints, it acts a forcing function for me to only focus on what I deem most important. These parameters let me understand that I can’t do it all even if I wanted to. These two systems — a start up ritual and a shut down ritual — are the two most important practices that help me protect my energy.
Stuff: Measure Possessions in Time
There is a swift story that boat owners frequently tell. It goes like this: There are only two happy days of a boat owner — the day one buys the boat and the day one sells it.
Meaning, the rush of buying a boat only provides temporary pleasure. Then, the reality of the ownership sinks in. It requires enormous amounts of money, time and energy just to maintain it. Then finally it gets sold so one doesn’t have to invest so much into docking a boat that is hardly used.
We can extend this story into the stuff of our lives. Intellectually, we know stuff doesn’t provide deep joy. But it’s very difficult to practice this way of life in a culture that is built and driven by more.
Changing the perspective might help.
An example:
I bought a used car last year for cash instead of a new one after I calculated how much that car payment would cost me in time each month. The number of hours that a new car payment would cost me was simply not worth it to me. Although I wanted a new car (because who doesn’t), when I change my perspective from money to time in regard to the purchase, it was clear what the right decision was for me.
Cars aren’t the focus here — our relationship with time is the main topic. When you measure your possessions in time, it provides an honest, objective account on how much it costs to buy, own and maintain it. From there, you can decide if it’s worth it or not.
We all have different paths of success for our lives. But the connective tissue is simplicity. When we vow to not settle for more and take control of our energy, we poise ourselves for long-term consistency — which is really how anything substantial gets done. Use these three thinking systems to avoid excess creep and leverage simplicity for a successful life.
Practical Takeaways
- Urge Surf: Instead of trying to resist every urge, surf it and give it a chance to subside before acting on it.
- Use Constraints: Protecting your energy is what allows for long-term consistency. Guard your most effective hours with a start up ritual and give sleep the respect it deserves by developing a shut down ritual.
- Use time to measure possessions: Time is your non-renewable asset. When you measure purchases and possessions in time, it provides an objective account of what it costs to purchase and maintain.
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Thanks for reading,
Brian
