How To Be An Adult
Note: It’s not easy.
1. Don’t be an idiot, generally.
2. If you’re going to drive, don’t drink. See 1 above.
3. When you’re driving, leave your phone alone. Snapchat can wait.
4. And leave it alone when you’re with people, the kind you can reach out and touch.
5. Ask for help when you need it. Don’t struggle alone.
6. Don’t expect too much from people and don’t blame anyone for the way your life turned out. Take responsibility.
7. Face your past, make peace with it and move along.
8. Read, please.
9. Be that person who knows a little about a lot and a lot about one thing at least.
10. Stop talking about other people so much. Maybe stop talking so much, generally.
11. Save, a little at a time. It’s called discipline and discipline is essential for living a grown-up life.
12. You know the guy who buys everyone drinks at the bar on pay day? Don’t be him. He’s the poster boy for idiocy.
13. I’ll reinforce that point: Rich people don’t need to buy strangers a round of drinks to prove anything. It proves nothing.
14. Don’t crash weddings. It’s beneath you. Shut up already about the gastronomic value of small chops. Don’t let your appetite embarrass you.
15. When you’re actually invited (as in you have an actual invite), attend the marriage ceremony itself and skip the reception. The first is beautiful, the second usually taints the awe of the first: hunger and alcohol bring out the worst in people.
16. Speaking of marriage, you know the people who got married because “We were pressured?” Don’t be those people.
17. Be on time every time. Try.
18. Put more effort into listening.
19. Be friends with people who exist off the internet.
20. Don't beg for sex. I know you're thirsty, it'll pass.
21. Know your alcohol limit: the point after which you can no longer trust yourself to look out for yourself.
22. Respect yourself enough to be respected by other people. It might sound corny, but respect really does breed respect.
23. Learn to cook. It’s a basic survival skill. Secondarily, it makes you look good when you can do it well.
24. If you’re upset, say you are and let it go. Don’t bottle it in. Grudges are poisonous.
25. Commit to something. Could be a faith or a regular salon appointment. Commit.
26. When you can help, help. There’s nothing quite like the feeling you get from making someone else’s life better.
27. Take yourself out often.
28. Tell yourself the truth. That’s the most basic form of self-love.
29. And tell everyone else the truth. Open your mouth, let it out, shut your mouth. It’s not always that easy but it’s what’s best for everyone.
30. Accept your humanity and stop chasing perfection. The roses come with thorns.
31. Don’t drag anyone into your personal drama. It’s not fair.
32. Don’t lead people on. It’s okay not to know what you want, just don’t act like you do.