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How to be yourself

Alex Mathers
Aug 27, 2017 · 3 min read

Why do we care so much about what others think?

Why does it feel so damn weird to put ourselves out there?

Why does the prospect of being rejected fill us with weird vibes?

Why do we fight so hard to protect our cool, relaxed, totally not boring, happy images?

Because we’re human.

Because we don’t want to be rejected by ‘society.’

Because we want to survive.

Because it’s understandable and normal to try and look and act flawlessly.

The only teenie weenie issue with this is that it makes us miserable.

We can never relax if there is the chance that we will look stupid.

We can never just ‘be ourselves.’

So how the hell can we just relax?

How can we be more ‘authentic?’ (Whatever the heck that means).

How can we be more courageous and face our stupid fears, and just be a success without making everything such a huge deal?

We do this by forgetting ourselves.

Worrying about who we are and what image we project is an issue with our thinking: our minds.

You cannot fix problems of the mind at the level of the mind.

There’s no point ‘trying’ to be yourself.

‘Trying’ is thinking, and thinking will not change your mind — it will only stir it up.

It’s not going to happen until you re-direct your focus away from yourself.

Your biggest addiction isn’t the Internet, sugar, fast food or smoking.

Your biggest obsession is yourself.

How do you quit yourself?

You don’t. You just focus on other things.

What things?

The things that matter.

The people that matter.

Help yourself by helping others.

Improve yourself by improving the lives of others.

Learn by teaching.

Become confident by helping others be confident.

Be yourself by helping others be themselves.

Be happy by making others happy.

“If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.” — Mark Twain

When we make improving ourselves such a big deal, we’ve entered the labyrinth.

To free yourself from this maze, stop, breathe, and commit to making the world better.

Think today about who matters in your life.

Not everyone matters equally.

Not everyone is ready for — nor do they deserve your honesty; your wisdom; your expression. Pandering to those who do not, drain the life from us.

Who is open to your truth?

Who deserves your contribution?

Who is your tribe?

Find them, and improve their lives energetically.

Bring life, love, and value to what matters.

This will bring you more life than you knew was possible.

You will find you.

You will be yourself.

What makes you come alive?

Free Course:

If you could use a deeper sense of self-awareness and direction in your life, you might be interested in my free course of questions that I guarantee will help your focus and give you are clearer sense of purpose.

Learn more about that here.

Originally published at on August 27, 2017.

Personal Growth

Sharing our ideas and experiences.

Alex Mathers

Written by

Coach for men. Ideas on well-being, courage, creativity and life. Helping you live with purpose. More:

Personal Growth

Sharing our ideas and experiences.