How to Handle Frustration
What is frustrating you in your life right now?
Is it sending an email you don’t want to send? Is it talking to a coworker who you dislike? Or dealing with government paperwork you’d rather not pay to figure out?
Somewhere in your life, you are resisting things, and that’s fine. It’s natural. It happens. But it doesn’t have to happen. You don’t have to be frustrated. You can choose to zoom out from your perspective of individual items on a to-do list, and look at the frustrations in your life from a different viewpoint.
You can zoom out and ask,
What is good about all these problems?
Why do I want to send this email?
Why is working with this person a good thing?
What awesomeness do these minor frustrations signal?
When we are zoomed in on our life, we miss the connections between the things that frustrate us and the things we enjoy. We resist the things we don’t like, without realizing that they are often fundamentally connected to the things we enjoy.
There is a price to pay for a life that you like. Minor frustrations are often the price.
You might think, “Shouldn’t I try to get rid of the things I don’t like and strive for more of what I do like?”
Absolutely.
But recognize that there are limits to what you can control. When you are young and have found your way into an awesome company, there will be things beyond your control that you don’t like.
Don’t let an annoying coworker, or a tedious task, destroy the great parts of your situation. Don’t let frustrations that are beyond your control force you to stew. Don’t let the voice in your head run on loop at work saying:
“WHY DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS ANNOYING FUCK!!!!!!!”’
Don’t let your life fill up with frustration to the point where you quit your job because of one annoying coworker.
Instead, of seeing your life as a bunch of disconnected parts, you can zoom out and choose to see the situation you are in as a whole.
You can realize that the things you don’t like about your situation are the price you pay to have the things you like about your situation.
This doesn’t mean giving up on trying to improve your situation. It means thinking on a higher level, zooming out.
Noticing that your annoying coworker is the price you pay to have friends who are coworkers. That tedious tasks are the price you pay to have the opportunity to work around skilled people and learn new tasks.
If something is annoying you, and you can change it, then change it. But if you can’t change it, zoom out. Change your perspective. Recognize that this frustration is the price you are paying for many things you enjoy. Acknowledge that without this point of pain; you would be missing many points of pleasure in your life.
Originally published at ryanaferguson.com on July 31, 2016.
