If It Sucks, Do Something Else

I nearly cried when I had this realization:

I don’t allow myself to do things solely because I enjoy them.

After my Master’s, I went volunteering in Africa. My family encouraged me to keep a travel blog, so I reluctantly started one. Some months in, I discovered that I actually like to write. Later, I started blogging ‘for real’. Now you’re reading this.

Instead of writing whatever I want, I care about how well my articles perform.

Another example: I enjoy talking philosophy. Naturally, I had to start a podcast. Instead of spending a pleasant afternoon discussing whatever, I am now concerned with whether I delivered an interesting conversation.

When I add a goal to something enjoyable, the activity transforms — it becomes about accomplishing something difficult.

Which is cool. I like that.

But in the meantime, self-improvement has made me worse.

Zooming in on the problem

This is not due to the amount of work.

I’m OK with working all the time. I don’t want to rent out my time, but I want to add value to the lives of others by creating something. I happily spend many hours on that.